I Feel Good. So good, so good . . . .



James Brown, 2003. Wikipedia

           

            James Brown sang it: “I feel good.  So good, so good. . . .”

            I feel good, too.  I really do.

            Until I go to the doctor’s office.

            It’s like this: I go to the doctor for a regular check-up or a follow-up, and I’m feeling somewhere between pretty good and great.  Then, I’m handed one of those lengthy forms to fill out.

            The basic question starts with something like this: “Do you now have or have you ever had or suffered with symptoms of . . . .?”

            Following that opening line is a list of every possible disease, illness and ailment known to mankind – and/or womankind, since some of ‘em are known to women only or to men only.

            And, see, the thing is that by this age – 63 this month – there’s a doggone long list of ailments I’ve had or at least experienced symptoms of by now. 

            Dry cough?  Yep.  I had a dry cough for a few months a couple of decades ago.

            Shortness of breath?  Sure.  Haven’t we all experienced a little shortness of breath at some point in the past?   

            Ever had ringing in the ears?  No, I don’t think so, but, now that’s it mentioned, there really is or might be some sort of ringing in my ears that I’d never noticed before. Maybe.  Ah, the power of suggestion.

            Vision problems?  Of course.  Anyone would be squinting trying to read all of this little tiny print on these several pages of questions. 

            Any numbness?  Well, yeah, sitting here in this chair, gripping the pencil, my bottom and my fingers are feeling a little numb indeed.  

            By this time, I’m pretty much hurting all over.

            But I felt good, so good, until I got to the doctor’s office.

Once Is NOT Enough!

            All kinds of titles have been running through my mind during the last two weeks or so.

            One is the 1973 best-seller by Jacqueline Susann, Once is Not Enough.  Another is a 1965 song (and 1995 movie), It Takes Two.  Yet another is the song The Second Time Around, first made popular by Frank Sinatra.

            Why have these particular titles been on my mind? 

            It’s because I had a hemorrhoidectomy two weeks ago today – and it was the second time I’ve had the procedure done.  That’s because once really wasn’t enough.

            The first time was two years ago.  The surgeon didn’t do exactly what he was supposed to do.  And, no, I won’t be more explicit than that because this is a family site available to all ages.

            After almost two years of problems – following a terribly painful recovery period - I found a different surgeon and underwent the procedure again.  Now, about a week later, I’ve still had a painful recovery but I was more comfortable six days post-op than I was almost six weeks post-op last time.

            So, the second time around has been much, much better.  What hasn’t changed, though, is the substance of the comments and messages I’ve gotten, like someone saying, “At least the surgery is behind you now.”  Another message was from a friend who said she hoped I wasn’t all “pooped” out!

            Yep, even the second time around, I’ve been the butt of everyone’s jokes.

 

 

             ~                              ~                                   ~

Getting Needled!

           Have you ever been needled?

            I have. 

            This time, I’m not talking about whether someone has annoyed you or irritated you, i.e. needled you.  I’m talking about having needles put all over your body – inserted through your skin.

            Aside from having various injections for ongoing problems, last week I received acupuncture.  During acupuncture treatment, long thin needles are inserted at various points.

            It’s the points that I don’t understand. 

            For sciatic pain in my left hip and leg, the acupuncturist placed a bunch of needles all over my right arm.   I don’t understand how needles puncturing my right arm help relieve pain in my left hip.  But they do.

            Then, to treat chronic sinus problems, the acupuncturist put needles in both of my knees. 

            Yes, I know; it sounds crazy.  It even feels somewhat crazy.

            The acupuncturist explained that her method of treatment should be viewed much as a light switch and a light.  To turn on an overhead light, it’s not necessary that the switch be right next to the light fixture.  Most of us know that the switch is on the wall next to a door, yet a flip of the switch causes the light to come on. 

            There’s a kind of energy that runs through our systems.  If it becomes unbalanced, someone needs to flip the switch to return the balance, to get the energy train back on the tracks.  Acupuncture involves putting needles at certain points in the body to help reverse or change the flow of energy.

            I guess it turns out that ol’ Ezekiel had it right all along about all of “dem bones” being connected.  The bones are connected, and so are all of the other body systems. 

            Even so, I still don’t totally understand how acupuncture works or why, but I understand that it does work.  Right now, that’s all I need to know. 

            In this instance, being needled is a good thing.  

           

~                     ~                          ~

Ah, the Spine!

           By the time anyone reads this – assuming anyone ever reads my ramblings – I should be feeling a great deal of relief. 

            The surgeon took care of my upper back, shoulders, neck and, yes, even my head bright and early Monday morning.  I was ready for the knife.  Heck, he could have used the hammer or an axe or any other implement of his choice if that’s what was needed for relief. 

            I had gotten to the point that I couldn’t look from side to side without turning my whole body.  There was no comfortable position for sleeping, sitting or standing, which, of course, didn’t leave many options. 

            The doc said that much more and I would have had trouble using my arms, hands and fingers.    That concerned me, because I’ve never been very good at playing the piano with my toes.  I know; I’ve tried. 

            I’ve had two previous surgeries to the lower spine; this is the first to the cervical spine/neck area.

            Aside from bringing about relief, the really good news about all of this is that it means I actually have a backbone, unlike some of the politicians around us.

*                          *                         *

Part TWO: Aftermath - The BOTTOM Line

Yep, this is Part 2 of “Aftermath – The BOTTOM Line.”

If you read the blog post from earlier this week, you understand that the use of the number “2” is both ironic and appropriate.

After all, this IS the aftermath of a hemorrhoidectomy we’re dealing with.

The first time I met the surgeon – I’ll just use his real last initial and call him Dr. S – I could tell this wasn’t going to be any joyride.

That’s partly because when I asked him about recovery, he answered, “Well, you won’t like me for about three weeks.” And right now, I’m thinking three weeks was a bit short-sighted.

The other clue that this wouldn’t be a joyride was that Dr. S seemed to look down at the floor when he answered my question. Now, sure, I realize these doctors who perform this particular procedure may not be used to dealing with or concentrating on people’s FACES, but I felt like he just didn’t want to have to meet my eyes when he shared the gosh-awful news.

As it turned out, Dr. S wasn’t even the one who did the surgery; he was called out of town unexpectedly, so I met the second Dr. S (Dr. S2) on the day of surgery.  Yes, both of the docs have last names that begin with "S."

[It just occurred to me that, if there were another doctor in the practice with the last name of, oh, say “Adams,” the acronym for the three would be perfect for what they do.]

As I was leaving my first follow-up visit after surgery, I commented about the gorgeous photographs adorning the walls. I was told that Dr. S2 was the photographer, to which this additional comment was made: “He has an excellent eye.”

Well, maybe NOT. He had just looked at my, uh, surgical site and pronounced I was doing fine!

I was NOT doing fine.

Earlier this week, while recuperating – when I was finally able to walk and to act somewhat like a human being again – I took my horrendously noisy car to the auto repair shop.

After hearing the noise, Robin, the friendly shop owner, said, “Maybe you just need a new tailpipe.”

Lord, if she only knew!!!!!

Truer words were never spoken!



~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Aftermath & The BOTTOM Line

Stop! Do NOT read this if you, like my sister Christy, think some things shouldn’t be written about publicly.


Especially embarrassing and/or personal things. Like medical procedures.

Okay; you’ve been warned.

The second warning is this: never, ever, ever have a hemorrhoidectomy if you don’t absolutely need one!

I mean it.

Right now, I’m supposed to be going through recovery following a hemorrhoidectomy. “Recovery” is a misnomer. This time period may be the aftermath, but, so far, I haven’t been able to tell that it’s recovery.

My surgery was five days before the election, which I thought was rather ironic. Both deal with pains-in-the-you-know-what.

A week after surgery, I experienced some of the worst pain ever. To put it bluntly, without being too specific, I couldn’t “do” what I needed to do. Know what I mean?

I believe it was hubby a/k/a The Duppster who advised me not to think about it. Well, that’s easier said than done. There were reminders everywhere.

For example, he was watching a show on the History Channel about feeding submariners. The commentator said the food is loaded into the “bowels of the submarine.” Oh, great!

I think the movie that was showing on one channel was “REAR Window.”

Later, there were commercials about laxatives and other related products. I even heard the phrase “bottoms up.”

During this medical aftermath, there was also coverage of the World Series, with frequent referrals to the “bottom” of such-and-such inning. The aftermath also included the weekend we were to set our clocks BACK an hour.

Then a friend told me that she was a “little BEHIND” in keeping up with medical news.

So, now you’ve been warned.

And that’s the BOTTOM line!

I'm Shrinking!

I’m shrinking!


Now that sounds like something I ought to be excited about, doesn’t it?

Well, it might sound that way but, the truth is, I am NOT ecstatic.

This shrinking has nothing to do with weight. After all, over my lifetime, I’ve probably lost a hundred pounds or so. You know: gain a bunch, lose a few, gain some more, lose a few, gain a lot more, lose a few – and so it goes.

My weight isn’t exactly right on my driver’s license. Perhaps I’ve fudged a little on the weight. No, that’s not exactly right. There’s no “perhaps” about it; I’ve definitely fudged – more than a little. But I have never fudged on my height.

Of course I’ve known for a long time that I’m not tall enough for my weight.

Which brings me back to shrinking.

I was at the doctor’s office last week and, as is typical, I was weighed. Then the nurse asked me for my height. I responded, as I usually do, that I wasn’t tall enough for all of those pounds but that I was probably 5’4” or maybe only 5’3 ½”.

So she said, “Well, let’s find out, okay?”

And so we did.

You just can’t fathom how shocked I was when she smilingly announced that I am only 5’1 ½” tall. Where did those other two or two-and-a-half inches go?

I’m thinking that I’m shrinking

That means I’m not getting taller

I’m thinking if you’re blinking

You might miss me: I’m smaller.

~    ~    ~    ~    

WW: "It's Me Again, Jesus"

These are rather strange pictures to post for the weekly Wordless Wednesday & Wordful Wednesday submissions.  This post will be way more wordful than those of previous Wednesdays -- and most of the words won't be my own.
The pictures above are of my brother Rod, who is four years younger than I am, which is one reason he always refers to me as his "eldest" sister.  
Besides being a very successful political consultant, he is the publisher of six weekly newspapers, for which he always has his own funny column. 
Today, I want to share what he wrote last week:

It’s Me Again, Jesus!

Last week, careful readers will have noticed, Yours Truly skipped his weekly assignment of penning this little column, which is something I try to accomplish each Monday morning. (Careless readers may not have noticed, because the usual space was filled in with a “re-run” from months gone by… just like the TV networks do!)

It was the first time I missed my deadline in over three years. I do not have a good excuse.

I guess, if I was a “dream-up-excuses” sort of guy, I could come up [with] one. I was, after all, strapped down to an operating table, undergoing a bit of brain surgery.

But that’s really no excuse. I’ve undergone similar surgeries two other times in the last couple of years, and I managed to meet the deadline for my column both of those times!

So no excuses. I’ll try to do better in the future, although there admittedly may be some new challenges ahead.

Back in August of 2008, when I first underwent surgery to remove a malignant brain tumor, I promised to keep you posted of my progress, much as my friend Jerry Fowler had done during his illness a couple of years earlier. He shared his personal battle with cancer each week, and helped a lot of people along the way.

I guess I’m just not as disciplined as Jerry was, because, try as I might, I can’t seem to work my health picture into my column but once or twice a year. There have, however, been some recent developments, and I thought I’d share them with you.

I won’t try to give you all the background on the melanoma that I was first diagnosed with in 1983, or the recurrence in the summer of 2008 that briefly impacted my communication skills. I will instead refer you to this column, which is now posted online as a blog at www.rodshealy.com. (Just go back to August, 2008, and you can read all about it.)

When we last updated my condition here (last November), I mentioned that I had chosen the treatment route of “clinical trials”… still-experimental treatments which have not yet been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Although the my first round of trials -- an experimental vaccine designed to boost my immune system -- officially showed no response, there is some evidence that a partial response was achieved. In other words, some success, perhaps.

While searching for the next clinical trial, however, I was delayed by what appears to be multiple new recurrences of the melanoma in various areas: several spots in the lungs, where we already knew there was at least one large tumor; nine lesions in the brain, which were treated by gamma-knife last Monday at MUSC; and a number of brand new melanoma tumors in areas which do not appear to threaten any organs.

A biopsy of the large tumor in the lung, however, which had tested positive for cancer last June, suddenly came back negative, just a couple weeks ago. Hence, the possible partial success, perhaps.
As of now, I am scheduled to begin a new round of clinical trials next week. I’ll try to keep you posted better than I have been doing.
In the meantime, I am blessed to have no real side effects or disabilities, and am able to continue to work my normal schedule… with the obvious exception of last Monday, when I missed my deadline.
It’s also a good time for me to reflect a bit.
Given my several brushes with cancer, my odds of still being here are not good. In 1983, I was given a 35% chance of surviving five years. In 2008, my odds of making it through were described as maybe one in a thousand. And the couple of recurrences since then have been…well, let’s just say alarming to the technicians reading my scans. (You can always see it in their eyes!)
Still, here I am, starting on my next streak of writing a column every week for three years without missing a single one. I hope.
There are a few things I’ve learned through these experiences of the last two years.

First, none of the medical professionals and researchers can tell us what makes these cures and treatments work sometimes and not work other times. They’re striving to find out, but they just don’t know.

Secondly, a lot of really smart people – doctors, scientists, researchers – seem to think the “power of prayer” has a lot to do with it. I’m glad, because I think it has everything to do with it. When word of my diagnosis was revealed two years ago,

I was humbled by the number of prayer groups who helped me – friends and acquaintances, and total strangers alike. They prayed for me, and I assume that’s why I’m still here.

Although I’ve personally never stopped talking to Jesus about it, I do notice that our chats become a little more fervent and frequent each time I get a diagnosis with a new set of challenges. I’m praying as hard as I can, but I sure do appreciate those extra prayer-words from others (because yours might be the one that works!)

Thirdly, whatever my future holds is okay with me. It’s a great life, and I love this life, but I’ve certainly had my fair share of it -- probably more than my share -- so when my time comes, it comes. In my prayers, incidentally, I always address that exact point: I simply ask Jesus to use me as is His will. If that means going to Heaven sooner rather than later, then that’s what I’m ready for. After all, it’s not this life that really counts… it’s the next one. I believe. I am saved. And I am ready.

If I’m sounding a little more prayerful than usual in my column this week, I hope you’ll understand. Skipping my column last week gave me extra time to reflect on this week’s message… and I decided to talk to a larger audience this week.





--------------------------

Other Wordless Wednesday participants are here.  Other Wordful Wednesday participants are here.

Avoiding the Swine Flu - Perhaps

This information was forwarded to me in an e-mail.  I don't know the doctor who offered the advice but it seems pretty sound and simple, so I'm sharing!

Dr. Vinay Goyal is an MBBS,DRM,DNB (Intensivist and Thyroid specialist) having clinical experience of over 20 years now heads Nuclear Medicine Department and Thyroid clinic at Riddhivinayak Cardiac and Critical Centre, Malad (W).


He offered the following regarding what is usually called swine flu:

The only portals of entry are the nostrils and mouth/throat. In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost
impossible to avoid coming into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1 is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1 infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced (instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).
2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe or slap).

3. *Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you don't trust salt). *H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms. Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, *clean your nostrils at least once every day with warm salt water. *Not everybody
may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra Neti (very good Yoga asanas to clean nasal cavities), but *blowing the nose hard once a day and swabbing both nostrils with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in bringing down viral population.*

5. *Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C (Amla and other citrus fruits).. *If you have to supplement with Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost absorption.
6. *Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can. *Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any harm.

Bride-to-Be with Cancer Needs Your Help!!!

This is a note from a friend and former co-worker about his daughter.

On Jul 30, 2009, at 11:32 PM, David Wright wrote:
Dear Friends:
As you know, just a bit over a month after her engagement to Cecil Bradstreet of Chapin, SC, my oldest daughter Kimberly (age 27), was diagnosed with Stage 3-C colon cancer. Most of you know that Kimberly started her first chemo treatment today. She did well considering. However, we found out today that Cecil had entered them in the WIS-TV Holiday "Dream Wedding" contest. He got the call today that they are chosen as one of the four finalists!


... The voting has already begun. Please go to http://www.wistv.com/ or the direct link at: http://www.wistv.com/Global/category.asp?C=172216 and read their information and we would love it if you were to cast a vote or two for them!

...Voting ends and the winner will be announced on August 10th!
Should they win the public vote, the WIS-TV "Dream Wedding" for Kimberly and Cecil will be held in December of this year at the Mitchell House and Gardens of Lexington when Kimberly is just half way through her chemo treatments. (We will have a special reception on June 12th of next year to celebrate their happiness and the end of Kimberly's treatment for colon cancer. More details on that will follow later!)

In the meantime, please help me help Kimberly and Cecil's "Dream Wedding" plans come true by going to the WIS-TV website and vote for Kimberly Wright and Cecil Bradstreet!
Thanks - and God Bless!
David Wright
~ ~ ~ ~
Hello Everyone!
Kimberly finished week #1 of chemo Saturday morning. She is having the expected side effects, which aren't a great deal of fun, but she is dealing with them. (I can remember from my own experience last year.)

Thanks for your help so far in helping make Kimberly and Cecil's "Dream Wedding" wish come true, but I have an updated request. Things appear to be going well, but we have a week to go and we have been told that you can vote once a day!

Please help me help Kimberly and Cecil by doing just that! Please go to http://www.wistv.com/ or the direct link at: http://www.wistv.com/Global/category.asp?C=172216 and read their information and we would love it if you were to cast a vote or two for them - once a day until Monday if you can!

Remember - The public will choose the winner. The winner will be announced on August 10th!
What is happening here is proof that God answers prayer and provides! Thanks for everything!
David Wright

Strong Medicine - Again!

I felt weird when I got out of bed one morning not long ago. Nothing in particular but just an odd feeling.

By the time I got to work, the odd sensation had changed. It had become – diarrhea. You know that feeling, don’t you?

Thank goodness, it was more of an inconvenience than anything else during the first part of the work day, but the “symptoms” got a little worse as the day wore on.

Unfortunately, we were so busy at work that it was all I could do to take the rather frequent bathroom breaks that were necessary; certainly I didn’t have enough time to leave and go to the drugstore to get any kind of medicine. I didn’t eat during the day because I didn’t want to exacerbate the problem.

Driving home was treacherous. I sat tight. Literally.

When I got home, I went straight to the medicine cabinet – well, actually, that was my second stop; the first was the bathroom.

When I opened the medicine cabinet, I was relieved (pun intended) to find just what I had needed all day – anti-diarrheal medication.

It was a generic, over-the-counter medicine, but the box indicated it was the same formula as something that used to be by prescription only. “Original prescription formula” is what it said.

That let me know it was probably strong and fast-acting, exactly what I needed. And, even better yet – and quite unusual for stuff in my cabinet – the expiration date had not yet passed.

I spent the next several hours doing some much-needed research, really glad the medicine worked so quickly.

It wasn’t until I was getting ready for bed that I found out exactly how strong that one tablet had been. It was still in my pocket.

Now that’s pretty strong medicine that works just by being in a person’s pocket, don’t you think?

* * * * *

During April, which is the one-year anniversary of this blog, I'm reposting a few from a year ago. This is one of those!

Scrabble and - Laxatives???

Mavis, Jenny and Elsie are sisters. They range in age from around 83 to around 91. All three are active and stay involved in church, community and family. Among other things, all three are avid Scrabble players.


I know about them because Elsie is my mom; Jenny and Mavis, obviously then, are my aunts.

They often get together to play Scrabble, and when they do, they play several games, often from late morning until midnight or so.

Sometimes, they even go to the beach for a weekend of Scrabble, playing until well into the wee morning hours.

On one such occasion, when they were holed up at a condo and spending a fun-filled weekend at the beach, after playing several games and as it neared bedtime, Jenny asked if either of the other two happened to have a laxative. Mavis did.

She went out of the room, then returned momentarily with two capsules, which she gave to Jenny.
Jenny promptly took the two capsules.

A short time later, as an afterthought, Jenny asked Mavis how long it took for the capsules to, um, “take effect.” (Know what I mean?)

Mavis didn’t say anything for a minute, then replied, “I don’t know. I’ve never taken two at a time.”

Incredulous, Jenny asked Mavis why she had given her two, if she’d never taken two.

Mavis said, “Well, I just didn’t want you to think I was stingy!”

flickr photo of Scrabble by MissRedMuse

The Dawg & The Hospital

A week ago today, The Dawg had a colonoscopy. (Read more about The Dawg by clicking on the link; there are other posts about him as well.)

Lots of people have had colonoscopies, and those of us who've had the experience always seem to complain about the stuff you have to drink for the 24 hours before the procedure.

This time, the doctor found and removed three polyps. We're still waiting for the biopsy results.

Then on Thursday, he had to be transported to ER by EMS with profuse bleeding. He lost consciousness twice for short periods.

Anyway, he spent two nights in ICU before being moved to a private room late on Saturday.

Fortunately, The Dawg has been a good patient. He obeys the doctor's orders and hasn't complained, at least not much.

The hospital was NOT his first choice of places from which to watch the Super Bowl. However, it was a good place for avoiding arguments during the game!

Global Belly Laugh Day - Will You Celebrate?

Saturday, January 24, 2009, is Global Belly Laugh Day.
There are laughing observances all around the world.

Can you imagine sitting in a room for an hour and doing nothing but laughing? That’s how some folks are observing this special day.
Can you also imagine how much better you’d feel if you participated?

In some places, there are speakers discussing the importance of laughter. Other sites are featuring clowns and similar presenters.

Last year on Belly Laugh Day, a radio station in South Africa shared an hour of laughter! Think about tuning into that station, unaware of the celebration. Would you quickly change the station or listen in delighted amazement?

Take the challenge for the 2009 event. Call a friend or a family member and just laugh. Or make it a 3-way or conference call. Share the joy with lots of people.

This observance isn’t for smiles or grins; it’s for deep, guttural belly laughter.

The time for the Global Belly Laugh Bounce is 1:24 pm local time. (1:24 on 1/24, get it?) That’s when everyone should throw arms up in the air and just laugh out loud. Forget your problems; get rid of stress. Everything else can wait while you engage in a few minutes of laughter.

Just in case you need help in getting started, I’m sharing some of my favorite belly laughs and giggles from YouTube. (See below - especially the first one!)

Click, listen, laugh! If you try it, I really would like to know if your mood changed. Did you forget problems for at least a few minutes?

Enough of this reading. Go laugh a while; have fun!!!! You'll be a merrier you!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPtuekvJdhs THIS one is a real belly-laughing baby!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m300pWQsFlE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_BHG-7T3iY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3KHR6Ktk6M&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6iNxLir0bw

Murder By Mustard?

Murder by mustard?

Well, if we were playing the board game “Clue,” there might have been a murder by mustard – Colonel Mustard, that is. This isn’t about the game of Clue or about Colonel Mustard.

Lee Spence is a world-renowned underwater archaeologist. For years he’s been finding and diving on shipwrecks, sometimes bringing up all kinds of treasures.
He’s also my ex-husband who is now married to my second cousin, which means my ex is now my cousin, at least by marriage. Yep, folks, this is the South.

Anyway, this isn’t really about him but it’s about one of his new ventures.
He is making mustard. This isn’t your neighborhood namby-pamby mustard. This mustard is a whole lot more than just something to put on a sandwich.
He makes Murder Mustard and Honey Fire Mustard. These things are HOT! They’re even excruciatingly hot.
I found them on amazon.com under “groceries.” Perhaps they ought to be listed under medicines or cures because this is the best thing I’ve ever found for cleaning out the sinuses – and just about everything else. I believe the Murder Mustard cleans out one’s “innards.”

He used to make this mustard at home (before he was my ex); we sometimes gave some away as gifts. People always wanted more.
Apparently, he’s turning this hobby into a business. The web site says he is also making a cocktail sauce with vodka in it!

Even the labels on the jars are rather spicy and tantalizing. For example, the label on one of the mustards has this warning: "Keep away from children unless you don't like them, and always keep a pitcher of cold beer handy!"
The labels actually provide some entertaining reading.

And, no, I don’t have the recipes for these concoctions. Wish I did.
I need some of that Murder Mustard right now for my sinuses.

Don't Needle Me!

I don’t like needles. I am petrified by them.
Having blood drawn terrifies me, although by this age, I’m sorta getting used to the procedure.
To make it worse, apparently I have what is called rolling veins. They are hard to find, hard to stick and hard to draw blood from. I always tell the phlebotomists that I kick. They think I’m joking.
Anyway, back to the needles.
Well, for years my daughters encouraged me to get my ears pierced. I wasn’t about to get my ears pierced – because of needles. Besides, my ears were perfectly fine without extra holes in them. I had no need or desire to get my ears pierced.
I wore earrings every day and loved ‘em. I even wore earrings back when everybody called them earbobs. (Now, that’s a word you don’t hear very often anymore.)
As years went on, though, it became much more difficult to find clip-on earrings. The rest of the world must have had pierced ears. The lack of selection of clip-ons, however, didn’t allay my fear of needles.
Then, one day, I had to have some out-patient surgery for which I was to be “doped up” and out of it. That meant I had to have a driver; this assignment fell to daughter Tiffany.
Not only did she pick me up, she decided to have my ears pierced while I was dopey.
Thanks, Tiffany. It's so nice to have daughters who care - even if it means needles and holes in my ears!

Getting a Fix Fixed

I’ve always thought one of the worst parts of surgery or any medical procedure, including lab work, was not being able to eat after midnight the night before.

For me, the food wasn’t what I missed; it was the diet Cokes. Diet Coke is my fix, my addiction. I drink several early in the morning, and then continue throughout the day.

I found out Monday that brother Rod’s fix must be coffee. Since his surgery was scheduled for late afternoon (4 pm), he had a long stretch in which he couldn’t eat or drink. He had to go a long time without his numerous cups of coffee.

As he and I worked Monday morning, he frequently reached into his shirt pocket and then brought his hand to his face. The crazy guy had coffee beans in his shirt pocket. He’d take them out, breathe in the aroma, then put them back in his pocket – for a short while.

I guess that’s one way of getting a fix fixed.

Somehow, I don’t think smelling a diet Coke would help me.

Surgery Date Changed for Rod

Rod's surgery is set for Monday at MUSC.
We all (most of the family) had dinner together tonight. Rod is so very optimistic. He'll be in the hands of an excellent doctor, Dr. Patel, at MUSC.
The tumor is just above or near the left ear and it appears this is not a spread of melanoma he had many years ago.

Rod's Surgery is Scheduled

Rod's surgery is scheduled for Monday the 11th at 4 pm. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, see the post below this one.) He had to see if he could fit surgery into his busy schedule! Newspapers have to be published; campaigns have to be run. I think that's why it was changed from the originally scheduled date of Saturday the 9th to Monday.

Rod and all the rest of us are quite optimistic.

Comments and e-mails from folks have been so supportive and, fortunately - and I'm sure as Rod would like - there has been humor.

For example, Penni wrote: Rod's like the brother I never had. Thank goodness!!!!

Brother Rod

Brother Rod is 54. I don't mind telling his age because he always refers to me as his "elder" sister. He thinks that's hilarious. Unfortunately, it's also true that I'm his elder sister.

Rod is a political consultant (a very successful one), a newspaper publisher, a businessman, entrepreneur, guitarist - and creative genius. To say he is unconventional is an understatement if ever there was one.

What follows is his column that appeared in his string of weekly newspapers today:

The Luckiest Man on Earth!
In these columns, I vary from topic to topic, but most of the time, I try to bring a little humor and happiness into the lives of readers. (Unfortunately, that’s usually result of my unintentionally typographical errors or misspellings.)

My friends and associates know that I’m what’s called “laid back”. Non-conventional. (Some would call it “goofy”). I wear funny-looking Hawaiian shirts. I’ve always valued friends WAY more than money… (which works out well for me since I don’t HAVE any money.) And I enjoy my sense of humor… even when nobody else does. Taken all together, it makes writing these columns each week one of my favorite pastimes.

But this week is VERY special… a column about how truly blessed I am. I feel like the luckiest man on earth.I actually have proof. Three times in my life, I’ve escaped “near death” experiences.

At age four, I fell out of a car traveling down the busiest street in my hometown of Lexington (U.S. 1) with speeding cars zooming around me in the dark of night. I escaped with a hospital stay, a permanent bump on the noggin’, and a picture in the local newspaper of “the little boy whose head was bandaged like a mummy”.

Then, in the fifth grade, I suffered a double-ruptured appendix which kept me hospitalized for nearly a month. Had my mom and dad waited two hours ‘til daybreak to take me to the hospital rather than leaving their beds in the dead of night, I would not have survived, doctors told us.

In 1983, I was diagnosed with a serious form of cancer – melanoma – and given a 30% chance of survival. Yet, 25 years later, I’m still kicking.

(I should probably add in the high school football injury that ruined my left knee, ended my sports career – one of the reasons you won’t be seeing me in the Olympics this month – but kept me out of Viet Nam. In 1971, that seemed a lot like luck to me.)

And then, just a few days ago, when I went to see my close friend, Dr. Oscar Lovelace, for something that seemed no more serious that a headache, I sensed his concern. We had worked together for over a year on his campaign for Governor, and I had somewhat learned to read his heart. I saw the great concern and compassion that I had often seen in his eyes before, especially when I told him of my previous melanoma. Within hours he had the results from an MRI, telling me “the news is not what we hoped for”.

Now before I go any further, let me assure you, my friends and readers, that I am optimistic
that I will be writing his column for many years to come. And I hope that’s what the Good Lord has planned for me also.

(Right now, I’m really hoping the Lord enjoys my off-the-wall style of humor that I sometimes slip into the weekly columns. If not… no offense, Lord… and forgive me for my bad sense of humor.)

As a political consultant and a newspaper publisher, I’m familiar with “spin”… but there’s not really much way to spin this: A few days ago, tests revealed I have a cancerous brain tumor. Along with Dr. Lovelace, Dr. William Butler, my previous oncologist from SC Oncology Center, confirmed the cancer, and this week, I will be visiting a specialist at MUSC to help determine what, if any course of action, can be taken.

I don’t know how other people would react to such news. But in the days since, I have been completely overcome with one central thought: I truly feel like the luckiest man in the world! I can’t even begin to count my blessings.

Obviously, I’m lucky to have a friend like Oscar, who has helped me think very clearly about my medical condition, and spent countless hours to shepherd me through tests that might normally take weeks in only days, even hours.

I also think of my friend Jerry Fowler, who during his last years allowed me to share his weekly journey with cancer with the readers of my newspapers. His courageous, positive approach of sharing his battle as a way to help others is now a blessing for me, allowing me the insight to follow his lead, and talk openly with you, similarly, I hope, in a way to benefit others. Without Jerry, it would never have occurred to me.

Now, however, I am calmed by this very act of sharing with you.

But my greatest blessings are the friends and family, with which I have been blessed. At the top of the list are the Mom and Dad who brought me into this world and gave me the most loving and supporting family environment a person could have. And, most importantly, they took me to Sunday School and church every week from the youngest age I could remember, giving me a foundation of faith which has never allowed for a single solitary second a doubt that I would end up anywhere but Heaven.

And, that, right now, is a very nice thought: It takes the only real issue off the table! They took me to church, I grew up believing I would live in eternity, and no other thought has ever crossed my mind.


I’m lucky to have an entire family that makes me nothing but proud. My sons, Rod, Jr. who makes me proud every day when he follows almost exactly in my footsteps, and Ross, who makes me proud when he chooses his own path, are both perfect to me.

I don’t tell my wife Pat nearly often enough how happy I am to have her in my life, and she forgives me. My step-daughter, Amy, has filled my life with joy. My first wife, Becky, gave me the sons I cherish, and did it without the help she deserved, and managed to turn them into the special young men they became.

I have brothers, sisters, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews and ex-relatives all of whom return the love that I have for them… topped off with two wonderful grandchildren who love their “Rod-Boy”.

I cannot even recall a truly cross word spoken between any two members of my family. And, to a person, they overlook my flaws, my controversies, my occasional “black sheep” tendencies… and accept me for who I am. A lucky man.

And I have some of the most wonderful, trustworthy friends and associates you can imagine. Starting with my long-time business associates who somehow find a way to make my businesses succeed: Kirk, Kelley, Annette, Vi, Keith and many others; and my loyal and trusting clients: Jim, Andre, Henry, Richard, Catherine, Randy… the list is too long, the riches of friendship too plentiful.

In the hours since the suspicions slipped out that “something might be wrong with Rod” (or I should say “wronger than usual with Rod”), I have felt like the Jimmy Stewart character in “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Friends have poured out of the woodwork.

And as rumors started that there may be a serious problem, that I could be out of my businesses for a few weeks, that I might need to fly away for special treatment, that my insurance might not cover the bill, that I need friends to step in and help with some of my day to day responsibilities, offers to help solve any and every problem have some how found their way to me.

I’m not ashamed to tell you that I have wept many times in the last few days… Never once out of fear or concern for my life or my health… but many times out of the joy of knowing what wonderful friends I have. And, just like the movie, that to me is worth all the money in the world.

I learned two things from the blessing of Jerry Fowler’s recent experience.

First, I would have never thought of writing about this. But, if I’m able, I certainly plan to follow that lead. I’m not sure what I will write, but I will share this experience in my own way. (And I should warn you that I’m pretty sure I will attempt to mix in some humor… I just can’t help it!) Second, near the end of Jerry’s journey in May, I learned that it’s okay to say a prayer in my own newspaper if I want to, which I did. And that, too, I will do, starting now:

“Lord, I thank you for the life you have given me, for the many friends and blessings you have showered upon me, and for making me truly feel like the luckiest man in the world. Watch over and care for all these people, your blessings to me. And, as for me, I pray only that you make me an instrument of your will. I know its not really about this life, it’s the next one… and while I sure do LIKE this one -- and would like to stay in it a while longer -- I also know I’ve had more than my share of goodness. So I’m not going to worry about myself, and just pray that you use me however you have planned for me, and I’m sure everything will work out fine. In your Sons name. Amen.”

If the Lord is willing, I’ll give you an update and let you know more next week, and every week until he says not. And I expect I can improve on the prayers I may occasionally publish… because I plan to be practicing a lot.