I'm Shrinking!

I’m shrinking!


Now that sounds like something I ought to be excited about, doesn’t it?

Well, it might sound that way but, the truth is, I am NOT ecstatic.

This shrinking has nothing to do with weight. After all, over my lifetime, I’ve probably lost a hundred pounds or so. You know: gain a bunch, lose a few, gain some more, lose a few, gain a lot more, lose a few – and so it goes.

My weight isn’t exactly right on my driver’s license. Perhaps I’ve fudged a little on the weight. No, that’s not exactly right. There’s no “perhaps” about it; I’ve definitely fudged – more than a little. But I have never fudged on my height.

Of course I’ve known for a long time that I’m not tall enough for my weight.

Which brings me back to shrinking.

I was at the doctor’s office last week and, as is typical, I was weighed. Then the nurse asked me for my height. I responded, as I usually do, that I wasn’t tall enough for all of those pounds but that I was probably 5’4” or maybe only 5’3 ½”.

So she said, “Well, let’s find out, okay?”

And so we did.

You just can’t fathom how shocked I was when she smilingly announced that I am only 5’1 ½” tall. Where did those other two or two-and-a-half inches go?

I’m thinking that I’m shrinking

That means I’m not getting taller

I’m thinking if you’re blinking

You might miss me: I’m smaller.

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