Part TWO: Aftermath - The BOTTOM Line

Yep, this is Part 2 of “Aftermath – The BOTTOM Line.”

If you read the blog post from earlier this week, you understand that the use of the number “2” is both ironic and appropriate.

After all, this IS the aftermath of a hemorrhoidectomy we’re dealing with.

The first time I met the surgeon – I’ll just use his real last initial and call him Dr. S – I could tell this wasn’t going to be any joyride.

That’s partly because when I asked him about recovery, he answered, “Well, you won’t like me for about three weeks.” And right now, I’m thinking three weeks was a bit short-sighted.

The other clue that this wouldn’t be a joyride was that Dr. S seemed to look down at the floor when he answered my question. Now, sure, I realize these doctors who perform this particular procedure may not be used to dealing with or concentrating on people’s FACES, but I felt like he just didn’t want to have to meet my eyes when he shared the gosh-awful news.

As it turned out, Dr. S wasn’t even the one who did the surgery; he was called out of town unexpectedly, so I met the second Dr. S (Dr. S2) on the day of surgery.  Yes, both of the docs have last names that begin with "S."

[It just occurred to me that, if there were another doctor in the practice with the last name of, oh, say “Adams,” the acronym for the three would be perfect for what they do.]

As I was leaving my first follow-up visit after surgery, I commented about the gorgeous photographs adorning the walls. I was told that Dr. S2 was the photographer, to which this additional comment was made: “He has an excellent eye.”

Well, maybe NOT. He had just looked at my, uh, surgical site and pronounced I was doing fine!

I was NOT doing fine.

Earlier this week, while recuperating – when I was finally able to walk and to act somewhat like a human being again – I took my horrendously noisy car to the auto repair shop.

After hearing the noise, Robin, the friendly shop owner, said, “Maybe you just need a new tailpipe.”

Lord, if she only knew!!!!!

Truer words were never spoken!



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