Aftermath & The BOTTOM Line

Stop! Do NOT read this if you, like my sister Christy, think some things shouldn’t be written about publicly.

Especially embarrassing and/or personal things. Like medical procedures.

Okay; you’ve been warned.

The second warning is this: never, ever, ever have a hemorrhoidectomy if you don’t absolutely need one!

I mean it.

Right now, I’m supposed to be going through recovery following a hemorrhoidectomy. “Recovery” is a misnomer. This time period may be the aftermath, but, so far, I haven’t been able to tell that it’s recovery.

My surgery was five days before the election, which I thought was rather ironic. Both deal with pains-in-the-you-know-what.

A week after surgery, I experienced some of the worst pain ever. To put it bluntly, without being too specific, I couldn’t “do” what I needed to do. Know what I mean?

I believe it was hubby a/k/a The Duppster who advised me not to think about it. Well, that’s easier said than done. There were reminders everywhere.

For example, he was watching a show on the History Channel about feeding submariners. The commentator said the food is loaded into the “bowels of the submarine.” Oh, great!

I think the movie that was showing on one channel was “REAR Window.”

Later, there were commercials about laxatives and other related products. I even heard the phrase “bottoms up.”

During this medical aftermath, there was also coverage of the World Series, with frequent referrals to the “bottom” of such-and-such inning. The aftermath also included the weekend we were to set our clocks BACK an hour.

Then a friend told me that she was a “little BEHIND” in keeping up with medical news.

So, now you’ve been warned.

And that’s the BOTTOM line!


Sandee said...

Oh my! I've got one of these, but I think I'll just keep it. Sounds terrible. I like your sense of humor about it though. Just saying.

I hope you feel better soon. :)

magiceye said...

hope you put your woes far Behind soon!
wish you a speedy recovery!!

Judy T said...

You are hilarious!!!!

Unknown said...

I'm laughing but I do wish you a speedy recovery.

Patricia Rockwell said...

Hope you feel better soon. At least you're not running off at the mouth.

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