It's a Boy!!!!

By this time tomorrow, I'll probably have my second grandchild.  I am SO excited.  If this little one, Adam Fisher Brantley, is half as wonderful as his older brother, Harrison Cothran Brantley, then we are all blessed many times over.

There is one thing I know about Fisher already: he has fantastic parents.  He did a super job picking them!

I want to share what his mom (my daughter Mandy) posted a few days ago.  It made me cry.

"I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him over to the Lord. For his whole life will be given over to the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:27-28

As we closed out 2010 and are full-steam ahead into 2011, I can't help but reflecting on how absolutely crazy 2010 has been for us. I remember that I begged in my first post on this blog for 2010 that it would be a Year of Peace. Well, I can't say that it has. So, I'm not claiming anything this year.

This year has been marked by pregnancy...ones that have not been viable, and one that is about to become to fruition (see my post when I announced this for more info). Anyway, the other day, I was looking through the pictures on my phone when I came across this photo of a positive pregnancy test. The date on it was 5/4/2010. I wasn't sure as I had a few positive tests and against my husbands protest, I always sent them to Allison as she walked through this struggle every day with me.

But when I came across this test, I was flooded with the emotions that I felt that day. I remember sitting in my bathroom and saying aloud, "you have got to be (kidding) [getting] me. I cannot do this again." And by "this," I was referencing another failed pregnancy. I felt defeated the moment I saw the blue lines and just knew isn't possible for me to actually have this turn into something.

Well, almost eight months to the day after taking the test and quite a few pounds larger, I'd say it has turn(ed) into something. God is good. That collection of thoughts sent me into cries of adoration for my Father in Heaven that I could not seem to control. It was a tender moment, that I will never forget.


And we are eagerly awaiting the arrival of this little blessing. I called Adam on Dec 30th and said, "how badly do you want a tax deduction? I'm willing to stomach the Castor oil." In typical Adam form he replied, "Mandy, I can wait until Wednesday. I have a lot I need to do in the next few days before this baby comes." He apparently doesn't know what it feels like to be 100 months pregnant....
 
Welcome to this glorious world, Fisher. You are a blessing and you are blessed.   I love you already! 



~      ~  ~        ~        ~~       ~   ~ 

One Year; Two Seasons?

It’s been a year since The Dawg died. I – we – lost him in June 2009.

And in June 2010, I married The Duppster.

Only a year? That seems awfully quick to some folks, I’m sure, but the thing is that this is exactly what The Dawg wanted.

I’ve written about it before: The Dawg asked me to move on with my life when he was gone. No, actually he didn’t ask; he told me to do so. Over and over and over. During his last several months, he kept saying he didn’t want me to spend time grieving, that I was too young not to move on. (He was 78; I was 59.)

His expressed desire was a tremendous gift to me, although I didn’t realize it at the time.

For a while I socialized with other women who found themselves “single again” – either as widows or divorcees.

And then, in February of this year, I met Dupp. He seemed just right, and he still does. In fact, he is just right.

The Dawg’s name was Carroll, but over the years, some of his friends called him Carl or Cal. The Duppster’s name is Karl. Somewhat eerie, huh?

There are some similarities between the two and some differences, but there is no reason to compare.

I was blessed to have the time and relationship I had with The Dawg. I am blessed to now have Dupp and our wonderful relationship.

And I am blessed that The Dawg had the foresight to allow me to move on without guilt or regret.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

I had a wonderful “season” with The Dawg, and now I have a season with Dupp.

I hope this season will be a very long one.

Rejoice and Be Glad!

This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!


Every day is special, but today is a time of tremendous joy for me.

Karl and I will exchange marriage vows during the 11:15 a.m. service at our church, St. Luke’s Lutheran.

Karl J. Duppstadt. What a guy! He is one of the kindest, nicest and most polite people I have ever known. He is extremely thoughtful and loving.

We’ve met each other rather late in life. Maybe in the autumn of our lives; maybe even the winter. One never knows.

Whatever our remaining time, we are grateful for the opportunity to spend it together and feel blessed that our paths crossed. God works in mysterious ways, even through match..com, perhaps.

I am thankful for Karl.

We both are thankful for all who will share in this special worship service and day with us, whether in person, in spirit, in thought or in prayer.

This is the day the Lord has made. We rejoice, we are blessed and we are glad in it!

~               ~              ~              ~

WW: Why Is This Man's Photo on My Blog?

Every Wednesday in the blogging world, many bloggers participate in either Wordless Wednesday or Wordful Wednesday.  It's very difficult for me to be "wordless." 

I know, I know.  A picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words.  But I like to talk, and I like to 'splain things.

Today I'm doing more of a Wordful Wednesday than a Wordless Wednesay 'cause this picture needs some 'splaining.

Earlier this week, I mentioned both good and bad experiences with on-line dating. There were few details about those experiences, which spanned almost two decades, off and on.


One thing that always turned me off was the profile information that sounded trite or fake. Do you know how many men say they like holding hands while walking on the beach, or sitting in front of a fireplace with a special someone, or enjoying candlelight and romantic dinners? And most contend to be strong, handsome and athletic.

Those profiles are a dime a dozen.

Having grown up in a different time with far-different rules, I’ve always been hesitant to be the first to make contact with a potential date. It took a long time for me to overcome that hesitancy, but I finally did – sort of. I still proceeded with caution - if I ever made the first contact.

Not long ago, though, I came across a profile that was quite different. I wasn’t looking to date the guy but just wanted to let him know how refreshing his profile was.

There was one particular sentence that really caught my attention. This man said he liked to play golf but was only allowed on the golf course when they needed the earth moved around!!!

Here was a man with a sense of humor. This was someone who could laugh at himself. How refreshing!

And I told him so.

And then, he responded.

And now we’re getting married! Actually, not “now” but in a few weeks – on June 6th.

Did all of this happen rather quickly? Oh, yes, most definitely.

But, once you reach this age, it’s risky to put off anything you really want to do. 

Besides, at our ages, we both know what we like and what we don't like, what we should expect and what we shouldn't, what to overlook and what not to overlook. 

And this is why there’s a picture up above of Karl J. Duppstadt. I’ll be writing about him from time to time, including sharing more later this week.

So, now that you’ve been introduced to “Dupp,” come on back to find out more about him. The Duppster is a very special person, whether you need the earth moved around or not! 

One thing is certain: he moves the earth under me.


~~                                        ~~                                      ~~

More Wordful Wednesday participants are here.
More Wordless Wednesday participants are here.

How Did You Meet Your Toad, Er, I Mean Mate?

How did you meet your true love?

If your match-making efforts occurred decades ago, they probably weren’t through a site like eHarmony or match.com, were they?

These days, more and more people are turning to on-line opportunities to meet potential companions. This is especially true for those who are on the second-time around (or third or fourth) and for those who are, um, “older.”

People over 40 or 50 are in a quandary:

1. We’ve forgotten what it was like to date.

2. What “rules” we happen to remember no longer apply.

3. There aren’t many places to go to meet potential “candidates” of a similar age.

4. Most of us aren’t interested in playing games that many younger folks play.

5. If we wanted to play, we probably wouldn’t even know how.

6. For what reason would anyone feign innocence at such an age as ours?

7. Most places for socializing don’t even open until past our bedtimes.

Some people frown on the on-line meeting and dating process. I understand that. I’ve tried three different sites – and have met some unusual inhabitants of this planet. At least, I think they were all from this planet, although it was questionable in one or two cases.

During these adventures, I’ve had some bad experiences as well as some good ones. And, thank goodness, I’m still alive to write about them.

Initially, it’s impossible to know how truthful people are being about themselves. It’s always important to play it safe.

One woman said, “You have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince.”

That, my friend, is usually true whether you’re looking on-line for a partner or through more traditional methods. In the meantime, just try to avoid the warts.

Valentines and Condoms?

As always, I'm intrigued by unusual observances and holidays.

Well, that means I’m especially intrigued by this particular weekend.

Oh, yes, it’s Valentine‘s Day on Sunday. It’s Presidents’ Day weekend; we’ve just seen the anniversary of the birth of Abraham Lincoln; George Washington's is soon.

Thursday was Blame Someone Else Day. Some folks celebrate that all year long – especially politicians and elected officials. Parents also hear blame-shifting year ‘round, as do teachers. After all, just about everything that goes wrong is someone else’s fault.

If blaming someone else doesn’t work, then celebrate Get A Different Name Day, which was also on Friday. Avoid consequences by changing names? Maybe so. Lots of criminals have aliases, don’t they?

Or perhaps getting a different name is tied in to Valentine’s Day. Fall in love, get married, take another name.

Most baffling, though, is one more observance that shares February 14th with Valentine’s Day.

How ironic that the 14th is National Condom Day. How’s that for something to coincide with Valentine’s Day?

The purpose of this special observance, though, is not fun and games. The American Social Health Association (ASHA) urges Americans to “Get Passionate About Prevention.”

ASHA points out that one in four Americans will contract a sexually transmitted disease at some point. That is not something to celebrate.


Now, for a few silly chuckles.  Thanks to Celie for sharing these:

Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank? It was a case of guppy love.

What do you call two birds in love?

Tweethearts!

What do you call a very small valentine?
A valen-tiny!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hogs and kisses!

 

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

It was Valen-swine's Day!

 

Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day?

Sure, they're very scent-imental!

Why do valentines have hearts on them?

Because kidneys would look pretty gross!

 

Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?

She didn't suit his taste!

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

We love because He first loved us.

It's About Sex

I don’t write about sex very often. Maybe it’s because I don’t know very much!

But I just read that October is National Family Sexuality Month, an effort to promote open communication within families about sexuality.

Well, this reminded me a particular day many years ago. I’ve written about it before, so if you’ve already read it, just bear with me.

It was a Saturday afternoon and I was at home with the three children, all of whom were quite young at the time.

According to the newspaper’s TV schedule, a show was coming on late that afternoon about teaching children how to say “no” to strangers.

Excellent, I thought. As a mother of youngsters, I wanted them to stay away from strangers and not to be tempted ever by candy or any other enticement. Without being pushy, I had us all in the room with the television when the program began. And so, we sat down and casually tuned in to watch the show.

After a few minutes of discussion about saying “no” to strangers, the conversation changed somewhat. It went from saying “no” to strangers to just saying “no” in general. And then, finally, the program’s focus turned to relationships between teenagers and beyond. The talk was about saying “no” to “doing it.” Should a person wait for love? True love? Commitment? Marriage? What? When was the right time?

As one might imagine, the children were engrossed in the discussion. Then all of a sudden, Tiffany blurted out, “I’m confused!”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because,” she replied, “they’re talking about when to do it and I don’t even know what it is!”

Keep watching, honey, just keep watching.

And there you have it - our celebration of National Family Sexuality Month!

Photo Hunt: WORDS

Words.  What a topic for the weekly Photo Hunt!  I've always been amazed that people who paint signs, print posters and erect signs don't check for correct spellings.  Here are three examples. Do you see the incorrect spellings?

Some words make us smile - like these from someone named Bryan that were on a sign in my neighborhood several months ago:

Bryan probably smiled when he saw this word in reply:

Words send a definite message, don't they?  The word on this license tag sends some sort of message.  I didn't take this photo -- and the car and tag are not mine!

Words should be selected very carefully.  Otherwise, they might send the wrong message, like on the signs below.  I didn't take the first photo and don't remember how I ended up with it; I took the second and third ones from inside my car.

Words often cause pain or hurt.  That's something I experienced earlier this week.  There were words I wish I could take back but I can't. 

The words in the following pictures reflect pain, victimization, tragedy and so much more.  I took these at the concentration camp at Mauthausen.  If you click to enlarge the second picture, you might be able to read some of the words scratched into the walls.

                                       

To see what other bloggers did with this week's theme, click here.

It's Time for Honey and Pleasure and Even More!

(If you're reading this on Facebook, click on the link to get the full post.)

This is National Singles Week.  For some folks, that's cause for celebration; for some, it's angst.   And for some, it's just wishful thinking!

Forget the week; I think I've just begun Singles Decade/Decades - depending on how long I live!

Ironically - or not - today is National Love Note Day, so celebrate!  Send a love note to someone you love.  You could even send a nice note to someone you just sorta like.  You know, spread a little kindness, spread a little love.


Of course, it's also National One-Hit Wonder Day.  Now, I don't know if or how that fits in with any of the other observances, but I have thoughts about that one that I'll keep to myself!

All of September is One-on-One Month and it's also Pleasure Your Mate Month.  No comments from me on either of those - not on this blog.  That's 'cause my momma sometimes reads this stuff.

National Honey Month is going on as well, but I don't know if that has to do with the food, bees or the endearing term. 

It's also Healthy Aging Month.  Finally, one I can observe and celebrate!

Is Social Networking IMPERSONAL?

Is social networking impersonal?

Critics often complain that we are becoming a society of recluses, hidden behind computer screens, fearful of human interaction.

I absolutely and strongly disagree.

There’s no question that I spend a lot of time at the computer. In fact, I’m beginning to believe the laptop is an extension of me. Borrowing Karl Malden’s words, I’d say I "don’t leave home without it.”

I’m addicted to the computer; I have withdrawal symptoms if I have to do without it.

I use Twitter, Facebook and Blogspot, currently updating three public blogs and one private blog.

Do I fear human interaction? Oh, no. I love human interaction.

Social networks have allowed me to find old friends, people with whom I had lost contact. Social networks have allowed me to make new friends, some of whom I’ve never met face to face but who seem just as close and familiar as some others. Social networks have allowed me to keep up with what friends and family members are doing, even those things I'd rather not know.

Sitting at a computer doesn't inhibit conversation any more than reading book, working a crossword or perhaps even being engrossed in a TV program.

Many of us are more personal with our writing than we are with our speaking. Perhaps we get to know more about others and share more of ourselves this way.

When Mom sends an e-mail to all of the family members, we know exactly what she's thinking! She writes the same way she talks.

When “The Dawg” got sick and was hospitalized several times, I kept a blog about him to let family and friends keep up with his condition. It was so much easier than calling 20 to 50 people, especially since I was usually in the hospital room and he was often sleeping or watching TV. We posted pictures of hospital staffers and got to know them much better by doing so.

His last days were described on the blog and even his death.

(http://www.carrollsmith.blogspot.com/)

I shared my heartache at losing my husband and soul mate but also shared his desire not to linger and suffer. These were bittersweet postings, of course.

At the same time, I heard from hundreds of people, first wishing him well, offering prayers and then expressing condolences. Yes, there were some “traditional” cards that came through the mail, but there were many more expressions of sympathy on his blog and on mine, on Facebook, on Twitter and through e-mail.

These were no less personal than hand-written cards. What’s more, they were instantaneous and helped with the grieving process, just as writing helped me with the grieving process. I wouldn’t trade those communications for anything. I felt caring and concern from the senders.

When my dad died of cancer just over 8 years ago, I didn’t have a blog; there was no Twitter or Facebook, but there was e-mail. I notified loads of people about his death by e-mail and received many sympathy messages by e-mail.

One good thing about the e-mail communications was that I was able to print copies of the messages for each family member. That’s something I couldn’t do with traditional cards and phone calls.

In some ways, social networking has advantages and may even be preferable.

Etiquette experts may frown on the use of a computer for anything connected with emotions. I don’t, but, of course, as those who know me will attest, I’m certainly no etiquette expert!
Social networks are convenient. No trips to the post office. No worrying about calling someone who may be sleeping or busy. Messages are sent at the sender’s convenience and read at the recipient’s convenience.

One person sent an e-mail expressing sympathy when Carroll died but also apologized for using e-mail, saying she couldn’t find a current mailing address. I assured her this was fine. Her message was the same, regardless of the format. I felt no less comforted by words that were typed rather than hand-written.

What do you think? Do you offer sympathy, greetings, congratulations, best wishes and so forth by way of computer?

Is this a way to show joy at someone's good news and celebration? Is this kind of communication less personal?

Is it okay? Is it acceptable? Or, are we really humans fearful of “personal” communications and interaction?

WW: They Won!!!!

This photo isn't one that I took but it's one that represents so much more than most!






Perhaps you remember the post from several days ago - Bride-to-be - about my friend's daughter, Kimberly Wright. About a month after Cecil Bradstreet asked her to be his wife, she was diagnosed with Stage 3-C colon cancer.

She has been undergoing chemo treatments as part of this emotional roller coaster they have been on. In the meantime, the groom-to-be entered them into a Columbia, SC, TV station's "Dream Wedding" contest.

Two or three weeks ago, the couple learned they were finalists -- one of four couples. The winner would be determined by votes from the public. Some of this blog's readers let me know they voted online.

Early this morning, Kimberly and Cecil were announced as the winning couple!!!

Here is this morning's e-mail from her happy father:

Hello Everyone!
Just a quick note to tell you that my daughter, Kimberly Wright, and her fiancee, Cecil Bradstreet, were announced this morning as the winners of the WIS-TV "Dream Wedding" Giveaway at The Mitchell House in Lexington! They appeared live-and-in-person this morning at about 6:45AM when they were officially announced! They have selected Saturday, December 26th as the date for their wedding, because that date falls on the "off-week" between her 10th and 11th chemotherapy treatments.
Thank you for helping me help them make their dream come true! You truly played a great part in this!
You're the best!
God Bless!
David

Her father, by the way, is a cancer survivor.

Thanks to all of you readers who took time to vote!!!



- - - -

Other Wordless Wednesday participants.
Other Wordful Wednesday participants.

Dum Spiro Spero - More Than a State Motto

To those of you who have read this already on Facebook or elsewhere, I apologize. It ran in The State newspaper (Columbia, SC) several days ago.

Last month my husband died.

His last few weeks of life gave personal meaning to our state’s motto: “Dum Spiro Spero.” It means “While I breathe, I hope.”

Carroll – more affectionately known as “The Dawg” – was diagnosed with lung cancer on June 1st. He lived only 24 days after that diagnosis.

The Dawg had been short of breath for a while. We thought it could have been due to a little weight gain, getting older, or even his weak aortic valve. All kinds of tests were done.

A June 1st visit with the pulmonologist, though, confirmed our worst fears: The Dawg had Stage 3-B lung cancer. We were told that the average life expectancy from that point was 10 months. “Average” was stressed. The Dawg, as it turned out, was not average.

He was a tall man with broad shoulders and was extremely active his entire life. He was the picture of health and of an energetic lifestyle. An avid sportsman, he had a promising career leading to major league baseball when he chose to serve his country in the military many years ago.

Even with the diagnosis of lung cancer, The Dawg had hope. He hoped to continue for a while in his usual on-the-go lifestyle. The day after his diagnosis, we went to the beach and spent five wonderful days there.

Carroll did not fear cancer. He feared lingering; he feared being dependent; he feared being pitied. As long as he could breathe on his own, though, he had hope. It was his own “Dum Spiro Spero.”

Finally, though, he was put on oxygen 24/7. Ultimately, this proved to be insufficient. He chose not to use a ventilator. Yes, he had hope but only as long as he could do the breathing on his own.

I didn’t know Carroll when he was a smoker, which he apparently had been in his early years. It was that long-ago smoking which crushed his hope and ended his life.

I’ve never really liked being around smoke.

In the 1970s, as a member of the SC House of Representatives, I introduced our state’s first bill to restrict smoking in public buildings. Yet I held out when it came to private buildings. I never wanted the government to intrude too much in private lives or in private businesses.

I’m still not convinced that it is the government’s role to tell people they cannot smoke or to tell private business owners that they must not allow smoking in their establishments.

However, I held a loved one in my arms as he struggled to breathe and as he eventually took his last breath. There is nothing quite like seeing a once-healthy person struggling to breathe and finally giving up the hope of life when he could no longer breathe.

I don’t think anyone could spend the last 24 hours of life with someone who is dying of lung cancer, struggling for breath and still continue to smoke.

Eventually, smoking literally takes one’s breath away.

And when it takes one’s breath away, it also takes away hope.

“Dum Spiro Spero.”

The Proposal. This is Not About the Movie

There’s a movie out called “The Proposal.” This is not about the movie, although I enjoyed the movie. How can you not enjoy Betty White???

The movie, though, made me start thinking about proposals. Over the years, I’ve heard about some very creative proposals and some very romantic ones.

One person asked his girlfriend to marry him on a billboard; another used a scoreboard at a ballgame. Yet another used a message behind a small advertising airplane. Another proposed on a Christmas ornament.

Since it hasn’t been that long ago, I remember well how Carroll a/k/a The Dawg asked me to marry him.

We were in a car, driving on I-26. What follows is the conversation:

Carroll: If I asked you to marry me, would you say “yes”?
Sherry: Is that a proposal?
Carroll: No.
Sherry: Oh, well.
Carroll: I don’t want to ask you unless you’re going to say “yes”; I don’t want to be turned down.
Sherry: Oh.
Carroll: I’ve never asked anyone to marry me before; I’ve never proposed to anyone.
Sherry: Well, maybe you ought to give it a try.
Carroll: Um, okay. Will you marry me?
Sherry: Yes.
(brief pause)
Carroll: Do you know what time the Braves play tonight?

How’s that for romantic?