Waffle Wife

Want a good laugh? I don't usually post links but this one should make you laugh out loud. Be sure you have sound turned on. It's called "My Wafflely Wedded Wife." http://www.flixxy.com/wedding-ceremony..htm.  Funny, Funny Wedding Vows - here
Click either link above.  It's not a virus; it's just a short, funny video. 

Marriage, Poker and Latin

            Marriage, poker and Latin. 

            There’s a theme here.  I promise.  Of sorts, anyway.

            Just the other day, I was reading a little bit of law and came across, once again, the word “antenuptials.”  That got me to wondering.

            I’ve heard a whole lot about prenuptials but not about antenuptials.  So, I wondered what the difference was.

            Most of us have heard about prenuptials, or prenups, even if we don’t know anyone who ever signed ‘em.  We know they are agreements two people sign before they get married to determine who gets what if the marriage doesn’t work out. 

            I wasn’t sure about the other word – antenuptials – though. 

            In high school, I took the typing course, just so I wouldn’t have to take Latin.  Turns out that it was a great decision because I’ve used typing in just about everything I’ve done since then.

            But typing hasn’t helped me figure out words and meanings; Latin might have done that. 

            So, as I was wondering about antenuptials, I thought about playing poker and certain other card games.  A player puts his chips – or money – in the pot before the hand begins.  That’s called “ante-ing up.” (Gee, I’ve never tried to spell that word before; it looks odd.)

            Over at the state house in Columbia, there’s a small room just outside the Senate chamber.  It’s called the “antechamber.”  It’s a little conference room just before the big chamber.  So, I was thinking that “ante” must have something to do with “before.”

            And most of us have heard of “antebellum,” typically used to describe those big Southern mansions that existed before the Civil War.  There we have it:  “before.”
            Just a few weeks ago, I had spinal surgery called “anterior cervical fusion.”  There was another “ante-something.”  Since the surgeon went in through the throat area to work on the cervical spine, I guessed “anterior” meant before, which it does.  It means before or in front of.  It’s the opposite of “posterior,” and that, of course, means behind.

            And then, right in the midst of all of this wondering, the word “antelope” came to mind.  An antelope is a big animal with horns.  But, if a person “lopes,” he is just running along.

            So, after all of this wondering, I don’t know how the antelope got its name; I know that antenuptials and prenuptials are the same thing.

            And I know that marriage and poker have a lot in common.

--------------------------------------------

A Dickens of a Time!

Last year was a Dickens of a year.

You see, I’ve always been intrigued by Charles Dickens’ opening line in Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….”   How could any time be both?

Now, I think I understand. In fact, that’s sorta like 2010 was for me. It was a very good year and it was a very bad year. Yes, it was the best of times and the worst of times.

Last year, I was fortunate enough to meet and marry Karl, i.e. The Duppster. What a treasure he is; every spouse ought to be so fantastic. This good fortune that came my way definitely made it the “best of times.”

But I also lost a brother last year. Rod was only 56 when he died in August. Yet, quite paradoxically, even his death was, perhaps, the best of times as well as the worst of times.

Losing him was horrible for us. But, for him, it’s now the best of times, in that he is enjoying the fulfillment of the promise of eternal life. Even for family members who remain here on earth, though, it was the best of times in a paradoxical way, because his suffering ended and for that reason, his death was a blessing.

Of course, Rod himself made it relatively easy for us. He had written a column entitled “It’s Me Again, Jesus” and in it, Rod wrote humorously and seriously that, if it was his time, he was ready.

Another example had to do with our family, including extended family. Some experienced job losses; fortunately, some once again found employment. Last year we faced the daunting realization of unemployment in a tough economy - and the joy and relief of new-found employment.

One daughter and her husband dealt with the disappointment of ectopic pregnancies. As the year ended, however, they were awaiting the birth of a second son in a few days.

And then there was my surgery – the hemorrhoidectomy.

Now, that was a Dickens of a time all by itself. I’m still waiting for the best of times from that!

~                    ~                      ~                       ~

{Book photo from Amazon.com}

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The Trouble With Marriage, Divorce and Carrying On, or Who Am I?

Who am I?

Well, it looks like the answer depends on where I am.

And that, my friends, is one of the problems with marriage, divorce and carrying on – at least for those of us who comprise the “fairer” sex.

Yes, I know.  In church the answer to the Who-am-I-question is “Child of God.”

And there’s nothing better than being a child of God.

Just don’t try that answer with the government. Try it, and you just might get hauled off to a place you’d rather not go.

There are lots of answers I could give other than “child of God.” For examples, I’m the daughter of Ryan and Elsie; wife of Karl; mother of Tiffany, Tree and Mandy; sister of Rod, Christy, Shawn and Lorri; grandmother of Harrison – not to mention nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, in-laws and such.

Regardless, none of these answers work with the government either.

So, that brings me to the name game. The name I go by is “Sherry Shealy Martschink.” I’m also “Mrs. Karl J. Duppstadt.” And, of course, I’m called “Mom” but can’t even get “Grandma” from my grandson; he calls me “Puff.”

None of those work at most places for me either. My checks show “Sherry Shealy Martschink” but the bank has a different name.

My passport, voter registration card and Social Security card all have Sherry Shealy Martschink but that’s not what’s on my driver’s license.

The bank and Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) won’t change their records without a court order, although a bank representative indicated it could be changed at the bank after it’s changed on the driver’s license.

Do you really think a government agency would accept "Child of God" or "Puff" to solve this problem???

So, it’s off to court I go.

I hope I get my choice of names. I certainly don’t want the judge to decide I’m “Anna Banana” or some other odd name.

Until then, I’ll just continue with my identity crisis.

One Year; Two Seasons?

It’s been a year since The Dawg died. I – we – lost him in June 2009.

And in June 2010, I married The Duppster.

Only a year? That seems awfully quick to some folks, I’m sure, but the thing is that this is exactly what The Dawg wanted.

I’ve written about it before: The Dawg asked me to move on with my life when he was gone. No, actually he didn’t ask; he told me to do so. Over and over and over. During his last several months, he kept saying he didn’t want me to spend time grieving, that I was too young not to move on. (He was 78; I was 59.)

His expressed desire was a tremendous gift to me, although I didn’t realize it at the time.

For a while I socialized with other women who found themselves “single again” – either as widows or divorcees.

And then, in February of this year, I met Dupp. He seemed just right, and he still does. In fact, he is just right.

The Dawg’s name was Carroll, but over the years, some of his friends called him Carl or Cal. The Duppster’s name is Karl. Somewhat eerie, huh?

There are some similarities between the two and some differences, but there is no reason to compare.

I was blessed to have the time and relationship I had with The Dawg. I am blessed to now have Dupp and our wonderful relationship.

And I am blessed that The Dawg had the foresight to allow me to move on without guilt or regret.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”

I had a wonderful “season” with The Dawg, and now I have a season with Dupp.

I hope this season will be a very long one.

Ah, We've Found Our Differences . . .

Ah, we’ve found our differences.

In the two weeks since Karl (The Duppster) and I got married, we’ve been busy combining households, with “stuff” ranging from furniture to kitchen utensils.

I knew I had finally discovered our differences when I opened “his-now-ours” freezer door. As I leaned over to put in my Healthy Choice and Lean Cuisine dinners, I found his extra-large, family-sized peach cobbler.

My “no sugar added” ice cream went next to The Duppster’s creamy, home-style version of the same flavor and near his several boxes of popsicles.

In the refrigerator, my 2% milk-fat cheese went next to his regular cheese. The fat-free Miracle Whip went next to his regular Miracle Whip. (Yes, we both agree on Miracle Whip – just at different “strengths.”)

That’s not all. The light sour cream was placed next to regular sour cream. The reduced fat cream cheese went next to his full-fledged Philadelphia cream cheese. Next to his rich and creamy salad dressing, I put the fat-free and light dressings.

There were differences in the pantry as well. One example included my fat-free Hershey’s chocolate syrup next to his regular of the same brand. My fat-free Fig Newtons went on the same shelf as Dupp’s Oreos and numerous other sweets.

Either I’ll gain weight or “Vive la difference!”

I Just Might Have a Problem With Math

There might be something to what we used to call “new math.” That’s because I’m convinced that one plus one doesn’t always equal two.

Here’s the thing: Karl a/k/a The Duppster or Dupp and I got marred just over a week ago. Now we’re trying to merge two households of furniture, stuff and junk into one household of furniture, stuff and junk.

In other words, we’re trying to make one plus one equal one.

It just doesn’t work.

We had a back yard sale over the weekend. We need to have four or five more, but, gee, what a pain! We’ve also donated boxes and boxes of belongings and already have more boxed up to drop off.

Oh, and did I mention that some of the adult children are using us for storage? I’m not really complaining. I love my children and would do anything for them (within reason, of course.) Still, this is stuff that has to be moved and put somewhere. (Side note to Mom: Yes, I know, I have a few belongings still at your house!)

Trying to make one plus one equal only one isn’t the biggest problem, though.

Somehow, in this on-going two-week process of sorting, selling, shredding, donating, tossing, packing and moving, I have managed to lose or at least misplace the marriage license. And I’m not talking about a “keepsake” version. I’ve misplaced what needs to be signed and returned to the courthouse. I hope it’s just misplaced and not shredded.

We might not need that new math after all!

- - - - - -

A Done Deal? Or Not?

~


It’s a done deal. Or not.

Yesterday morning, during our regular worship service, Karl - a/k/a Dupp or The Duppster - and I exchanged marriage vows, so now I’m Mrs. Karl J. Duppstadt. (I think I spelled that last name correctly!) 

So, it’s true. That part is a done deal. We tied the knot!

We made the commitments and said the vows; the rite of marriage or the sacrament of marriage took place Sunday. We didn’t have what is typically referred to as “a wedding.”

We decided to focus more on the marriage than on a wedding.

It’s the marriage – the rest of our lives – that isn’t a “done deal.”

And it’s the marriage that is the hard work.

The marriage, unlike the wedding, has no finite, predetermined ending time. A wedding is all happiness, excitement and joy; a marriage also contains happiness, excitement and joy, but it includes times of sorrow, difficulty and adversity as well.

Brides and grooms have long lists of friends and family to invite to a wedding. Rarely are others invited to a marriage. I used the word “rarely” because on Sunday, Pastor Troisi asked members of our congregation to commit, by God’s grace, to uphold and care for us in our life together. Thankfully, there was a resounding “We will” from the congregation.

We did invite God to our exchange of vows and we do invite God into our marriage, and we plan to keep Him as a part of our marriage.

Yes, we became husband and wife on Sunday. That part is a done deal.

The marriage work, though, is never a done deal.

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Rejoice and Be Glad!

This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!


Every day is special, but today is a time of tremendous joy for me.

Karl and I will exchange marriage vows during the 11:15 a.m. service at our church, St. Luke’s Lutheran.

Karl J. Duppstadt. What a guy! He is one of the kindest, nicest and most polite people I have ever known. He is extremely thoughtful and loving.

We’ve met each other rather late in life. Maybe in the autumn of our lives; maybe even the winter. One never knows.

Whatever our remaining time, we are grateful for the opportunity to spend it together and feel blessed that our paths crossed. God works in mysterious ways, even through match..com, perhaps.

I am thankful for Karl.

We both are thankful for all who will share in this special worship service and day with us, whether in person, in spirit, in thought or in prayer.

This is the day the Lord has made. We rejoice, we are blessed and we are glad in it!

~               ~              ~              ~

Where Did All of This Stuff Come From????

Where did all of this stuff come from?

The Duppster and I are getting ready to combine households, i.e. two houses of furniture into one house.

In this situation, though, we have more than the two houses. There are three full storage PODS and a full two-car garage (and not with vehicles.)

The really big problem isn’t the furniture; it’s the stuff. And the junk. And all of those things in between.

For example, I’ve found three large boxes crammed full of odds and ends, marked to my son from his father (my ex.) At first glance, it appears these are things that the ex didn’t want to throw away but didn’t want to keep. So, he gave them to our son. My son doesn’t want them, although I think at some point in the future he might wish he had one or two of them.

So, what do I do with them? Is the term “mom” synonymous with “storage facility” or “holder of all things no one else wants to hold” or some other similar appellation?

There’s one daughter’s wedding dress, another daughter’s CDs and books, and many items whose owners are unknown.

No doubt, most of this is my fault and my fault alone.

I’ve come across seven pacifiers, although my youngest child will be 28 this week! Yes, I have a grandson, but he lived in Colorado during his first 14 months of life, so he wasn’t here much and he quit using a pacifier early.

And I’ve also come across some things that are unidentifiable; I have no idea what they are or how I ended up with them.

We are readying for a garage sale, lots of donations and the move. As we move things gradually to Dupp’s house, we’ve realized one of the great ironies of moving: at my house, it looks as though nothing has been taken away; at his house, it looks like everything is already there.

Baring It All: This is a Serious Post

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You can’t tell it from the picture, but this is a serious post.


Marriage isn’t easy. It’s hard work.

Second or subsequent marriages are even harder, especially since they usually involve combining families and possibly even adding to those families.

Certainly over the last several decades there have been thousands of books, magazine and newspaper articles, radio and TV interviews, blog posts and conferences about how to help young children adjust to step-parents, step-siblings and such.

Where, though, are the helpful hints about subsequent marriages when all of the children are grown adults?

Even in those cases, adjustments, acceptance and harmony take a lot of effort.

The Duppster and I are tying the knot three weeks from today, and acceptance from among various family members hasn’t been what  you'd call universal.

That’s why I’m writing to “bare it all.”

Between the two of us, there are seven grown children, none of whom live with us in our respective homes. They are in Ohio, Virginia, District of Columbia, North Carolina and South Carolina. Obviously, we are not combining families with everyone living under the same roof. And, not that I really need to say this, but here goes anyway: Dupp and I are NOT planning to add to the family!

We are both over 55, reasonably sane, and somewhat responsible. Even at our ages, we are delighted to have the approval of both of our moms.

It’s our children – not all of them – who are giving us the hardest time. There have been all kinds of questions and comments: Don’t you think you’re moving too fast? How well do you know each other? Why do you want to get married?

There was also a question about why they had received such short notice, which we answered by explaining that we tried very hard to tell as many of them as possible in person, face to face. That’s not easy when people are so spread out geographically.

One question specifically for me was “Can’t you just be alone for a while?” Well, yes, I can. I’ve been alone for a while – and some of that time was even while I was married (which can be the most alone time of all)! Besides, I wasn’t looking for someone to marry. Nor was The Duppster. We both thought we preferred to be alone but, then when we met, we both decided we wanted to be married to each other.

I’ve always tried to be very supportive of each of my children, their relationships, their pursuits, their activities. I’ve been supportive even when I haven’t agreed totally with their decisions.

Is it too much to ask for that same kind of support in return?

Have I made some mistakes in the past? Most definitely, but I certainly hope that I have learned from those mistakes.

One thing I know is that I love my children and my children love me. I believe the same is true for Dupp and his children. No one is going to come between that parent/child love.

Yet, as one or two of the grown children have questioned us, Dupp and I have not once considered postponing our marriage or making any changes. Quite the contrary, the expressed concern, controversy and questions have drawn us even closer together and made our relationship stronger.

What we want, however, is for our grown children to share in our joy and to support us. How do we explain that at our ages, it doesn’t take as long to decide whether a person is the “right one” or that, by our ages, people have learned what’s important and what to overlook?

Any advice?


Note: After writing most of the above, I learned that The Duppster's oldest daughter has posted extremely nice and warm comments on her Facebook page; she openly welcomed me to the family. That means a lot!

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Photo Hunt: HALF

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It's Saturday.  That means the weekly Photo Hunt in blogland.
Today's theme is HALF. 

What better time for one last post (at least for this week) about The Duppster!  After all, in three weeks and one day, I will become his other half and he will become my better half. 

By the way, next week's theme is "monthly."  Although Dupp is quite the Superman, I don't think I'll be working him into that theme!

    To see  how other bloggers pictured half, click here. 

_              _                  _                         _

WW: Why Is This Man's Photo on My Blog?

Every Wednesday in the blogging world, many bloggers participate in either Wordless Wednesday or Wordful Wednesday.  It's very difficult for me to be "wordless." 

I know, I know.  A picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words.  But I like to talk, and I like to 'splain things.

Today I'm doing more of a Wordful Wednesday than a Wordless Wednesay 'cause this picture needs some 'splaining.

Earlier this week, I mentioned both good and bad experiences with on-line dating. There were few details about those experiences, which spanned almost two decades, off and on.


One thing that always turned me off was the profile information that sounded trite or fake. Do you know how many men say they like holding hands while walking on the beach, or sitting in front of a fireplace with a special someone, or enjoying candlelight and romantic dinners? And most contend to be strong, handsome and athletic.

Those profiles are a dime a dozen.

Having grown up in a different time with far-different rules, I’ve always been hesitant to be the first to make contact with a potential date. It took a long time for me to overcome that hesitancy, but I finally did – sort of. I still proceeded with caution - if I ever made the first contact.

Not long ago, though, I came across a profile that was quite different. I wasn’t looking to date the guy but just wanted to let him know how refreshing his profile was.

There was one particular sentence that really caught my attention. This man said he liked to play golf but was only allowed on the golf course when they needed the earth moved around!!!

Here was a man with a sense of humor. This was someone who could laugh at himself. How refreshing!

And I told him so.

And then, he responded.

And now we’re getting married! Actually, not “now” but in a few weeks – on June 6th.

Did all of this happen rather quickly? Oh, yes, most definitely.

But, once you reach this age, it’s risky to put off anything you really want to do. 

Besides, at our ages, we both know what we like and what we don't like, what we should expect and what we shouldn't, what to overlook and what not to overlook. 

And this is why there’s a picture up above of Karl J. Duppstadt. I’ll be writing about him from time to time, including sharing more later this week.

So, now that you’ve been introduced to “Dupp,” come on back to find out more about him. The Duppster is a very special person, whether you need the earth moved around or not! 

One thing is certain: he moves the earth under me.


~~                                        ~~                                      ~~

More Wordful Wednesday participants are here.
More Wordless Wednesday participants are here.

Where Do You Earn THAT Degree?

Every once in a while I get e-mails about job openings from various sources. Last week, there was one that really interested me. Good job, good benefits, good pay and really interesting work.

And it seemed that I met all of the requirements and had the right qualifications. Then I saw a section about “preferred qualifications” – above and beyond those required. One preference was for an advanced degree, which I have in law, but several possibilities were listed. One of those concerned me and made me really wonder about that job.

Listed at two different places was this advanced degree: Masters in Pubic Health.

What school offers THAT degree? What all do you study to earn such a degree? Perhaps there’s a course in anatomy, maybe one involving human behavior or social behavior. I actually took a course called Human Sexuality in college but not because I was working toward a degree in Pubic Health. 


(I hate to admit it but I almost failed Human Sexuality. Which, of course, is crazy because, by exam time, my husband and I were expecting our second child. I told the professor I knew what to do but just didn’t know what to call it!)

In earning a Masters in Pubic Health, does a student have lab work? Does it involve independent study?

Forget those job listings. I think I’ll go back to school to get a Masters in Pubic Health. Since I’ve given birth to three children and been married more than once, maybe I can start off ahead of the game with credits for life experiences. I ought to be able to get this advanced degree in almost no time at all!

How Close is Too Close for E-mail???

New neighbors are moving in next door.

When I met the husband half of the couple two days ago, he mentioned that his wife was looking for employment. I suggested a particular link on the web that might be beneficial and said I would e-mail the link to them, which I did.

I just received a reply from the wife half of the couple. She thanked me, then said she felt silly e-mailing someone who was just next door.

This reminded me of something.


My ex-husband and I met on the internet but not on one of the dating sites or anything similar. Somehow, we just ran across each other accidentally when we were involved with or researching the same topic somehow – history, politics, government; I don’t remember exactly what.

Shortly, we were e-mailing each other back and forth about things going on in South Carolina, where we both lived. This went on and on – about state politics, shipwrecks (his ventures), word oddities and more – for hours and hours, then days and days, then weeks and weeks. We figured we logged over 500 hours chatting with each other on-line before we ever had a first date.

After we got married, we sometimes e-mailed each other from within the SAME house! Isn’t that crazy? It’s much sillier than neighbors e-mailing each other.

Of course, this may be one of the reasons we are now exes; we communicated much better online than in person, I guess.

(In case you’ve read much on this blog, yes, he’s the same one who is now married to my cousin, so he is now my cousin-by-marriage!)

It's Time for Honey and Pleasure and Even More!

(If you're reading this on Facebook, click on the link to get the full post.)

This is National Singles Week.  For some folks, that's cause for celebration; for some, it's angst.   And for some, it's just wishful thinking!

Forget the week; I think I've just begun Singles Decade/Decades - depending on how long I live!

Ironically - or not - today is National Love Note Day, so celebrate!  Send a love note to someone you love.  You could even send a nice note to someone you just sorta like.  You know, spread a little kindness, spread a little love.


Of course, it's also National One-Hit Wonder Day.  Now, I don't know if or how that fits in with any of the other observances, but I have thoughts about that one that I'll keep to myself!

All of September is One-on-One Month and it's also Pleasure Your Mate Month.  No comments from me on either of those - not on this blog.  That's 'cause my momma sometimes reads this stuff.

National Honey Month is going on as well, but I don't know if that has to do with the food, bees or the endearing term. 

It's also Healthy Aging Month.  Finally, one I can observe and celebrate!

Bride-to-Be with Cancer Needs Your Help!!!

This is a note from a friend and former co-worker about his daughter.

On Jul 30, 2009, at 11:32 PM, David Wright wrote:
Dear Friends:
As you know, just a bit over a month after her engagement to Cecil Bradstreet of Chapin, SC, my oldest daughter Kimberly (age 27), was diagnosed with Stage 3-C colon cancer. Most of you know that Kimberly started her first chemo treatment today. She did well considering. However, we found out today that Cecil had entered them in the WIS-TV Holiday "Dream Wedding" contest. He got the call today that they are chosen as one of the four finalists!


... The voting has already begun. Please go to http://www.wistv.com/ or the direct link at: http://www.wistv.com/Global/category.asp?C=172216 and read their information and we would love it if you were to cast a vote or two for them!

...Voting ends and the winner will be announced on August 10th!
Should they win the public vote, the WIS-TV "Dream Wedding" for Kimberly and Cecil will be held in December of this year at the Mitchell House and Gardens of Lexington when Kimberly is just half way through her chemo treatments. (We will have a special reception on June 12th of next year to celebrate their happiness and the end of Kimberly's treatment for colon cancer. More details on that will follow later!)

In the meantime, please help me help Kimberly and Cecil's "Dream Wedding" plans come true by going to the WIS-TV website and vote for Kimberly Wright and Cecil Bradstreet!
Thanks - and God Bless!
David Wright
~ ~ ~ ~
Hello Everyone!
Kimberly finished week #1 of chemo Saturday morning. She is having the expected side effects, which aren't a great deal of fun, but she is dealing with them. (I can remember from my own experience last year.)

Thanks for your help so far in helping make Kimberly and Cecil's "Dream Wedding" wish come true, but I have an updated request. Things appear to be going well, but we have a week to go and we have been told that you can vote once a day!

Please help me help Kimberly and Cecil by doing just that! Please go to http://www.wistv.com/ or the direct link at: http://www.wistv.com/Global/category.asp?C=172216 and read their information and we would love it if you were to cast a vote or two for them - once a day until Monday if you can!

Remember - The public will choose the winner. The winner will be announced on August 10th!
What is happening here is proof that God answers prayer and provides! Thanks for everything!
David Wright