That's HOW Much????

            The Duppster and I were out and about over the weekend, just bouncing along from place to place in his pickup truck.  What a way to view life and what we typically call “Americana.”

            On a sunny and warm-to-hot Saturday, it’s easy to find various charity car washes with just a short ride.  We saw several, but there was one that really intrigued us. 

            As with most such car wash events, there were exuberant teenagers holding and waving signs promoting events.  The teens worked hard to make each and every driver spot the various signs, and they aggressively encouraged drivers to turn in to the lot to get vehicles washed. 

            While it might have been the energetic teens who first caught my attention, it was the signs that kept it.  The first big poster-sized sign read “Car Wash” on top with “FREE” underneath.  Certainly I knew what this meant: there was no charge for the car wash but donations were anticipated – or expected. 

            Just a few yards beyond the teen with the “free” sign was a second teen.  Her sign read “Car Wash – ½ Off.”

            Alright, I know I’m blonde and perhaps math wasn’t my best subject, but half off of “free” is how much?  Is free a big zero and half off a smaller one? 

            Dupp and I drove on, still wondering about those signs.  There must have been a bargain in there somewhere. 

            If you figure it out, let me know, okay?

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More Headlines: Police, Bras & Miracle Cures

Well, I guess it didn't work on everybody, huh?

Really????

Boy, that must be the best listening of all times!

 

A pair, huh?

This had to be a big surprise to the organizers.

So glad to be a nobody, since everyone was arrested.

 

Part of why Johnny can't read????

Sex, Sewers, Lawyers & More!

More of these coming soon!

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Signs of the Times?

            I was driving along the other day when a sign caught my attention.

            It was a relatively small sign on a pole and it looked to be hand-lettered.

            The only word on the white background was “Divorce.”  Under the word, though, was “$149.00.”

            Talk about “false advertising” or deception, that would be it.  I don’t know any divorced person - or even relative or friend of a divorced person - who would agree that the cost of a divorce is only $149.00. 

            Come to think about it, there aren’t many of those things we call “major life events” that don’t end up costing a fortune or so.

            Just look at marriage.  Sometimes young adults are encouraged to wait until they can afford marriage before taking the step.  They might as well remain single.

            Likewise, many times young couples are advised not to have children until they can afford them.  They just as well remain childless.

            All of the words of advice and encouragement are meaningful; yes, it does help to get one’s feet on the ground financially – at least somewhat – before taking on certain major responsibilities. 

            But, just like divorces cost a whole lot more than $149.00, marriage and child-rearing are expensive propositions.

            In fact, just living is pretty doggoned expensive. 

            That’s not all, though.  Have you looked at the cost of dying recently?

            If there were a way for people to wait until we could afford dying to die, we’d all be living to the age of Methuselah.

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Marriage, Poker and Latin

            Marriage, poker and Latin. 

            There’s a theme here.  I promise.  Of sorts, anyway.

            Just the other day, I was reading a little bit of law and came across, once again, the word “antenuptials.”  That got me to wondering.

            I’ve heard a whole lot about prenuptials but not about antenuptials.  So, I wondered what the difference was.

            Most of us have heard about prenuptials, or prenups, even if we don’t know anyone who ever signed ‘em.  We know they are agreements two people sign before they get married to determine who gets what if the marriage doesn’t work out. 

            I wasn’t sure about the other word – antenuptials – though. 

            In high school, I took the typing course, just so I wouldn’t have to take Latin.  Turns out that it was a great decision because I’ve used typing in just about everything I’ve done since then.

            But typing hasn’t helped me figure out words and meanings; Latin might have done that. 

            So, as I was wondering about antenuptials, I thought about playing poker and certain other card games.  A player puts his chips – or money – in the pot before the hand begins.  That’s called “ante-ing up.” (Gee, I’ve never tried to spell that word before; it looks odd.)

            Over at the state house in Columbia, there’s a small room just outside the Senate chamber.  It’s called the “antechamber.”  It’s a little conference room just before the big chamber.  So, I was thinking that “ante” must have something to do with “before.”

            And most of us have heard of “antebellum,” typically used to describe those big Southern mansions that existed before the Civil War.  There we have it:  “before.”
            Just a few weeks ago, I had spinal surgery called “anterior cervical fusion.”  There was another “ante-something.”  Since the surgeon went in through the throat area to work on the cervical spine, I guessed “anterior” meant before, which it does.  It means before or in front of.  It’s the opposite of “posterior,” and that, of course, means behind.

            And then, right in the midst of all of this wondering, the word “antelope” came to mind.  An antelope is a big animal with horns.  But, if a person “lopes,” he is just running along.

            So, after all of this wondering, I don’t know how the antelope got its name; I know that antenuptials and prenuptials are the same thing.

            And I know that marriage and poker have a lot in common.

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Word Play - or Forgetfulness?

Sometimes my mouth works faster than my brain.

Sometimes my mouth works – and the brain is totally idle, as in off duty.

Admittedly, these statements don’t surprise folks who know me well. Those folks would include members of our adult Sunday School class, which I’ve been “teaching” for several years.

This past Sunday, as we discussed callings and vocations, I said my sister had a child with Alzheimer’s.

Class members snickered. They knew I meant to say “autism” instead of “Alzheimer’s.”

Well, I understand that autism and Alzheimer’s are not laughing matters, but when I think about saying that a woman has given birth to a child with Alzheimer’s, the thought is a little comical.

There are other words I confuse for no apparent reason. Like hysterectomy and hemorrhoidectomy. Believe me, I’ve had ‘em both; they most definitely are not the same.

Another example has to do with house-hunting. The Duppster, my fabulous hubby, is a craftsman of sorts. He wants to build things – furniture and such. So, we’ve been looking – leisurely and casually - for a house that includes a workshop.

But I mistakenly said the other day that we are looking for a place with a “warehouse.”

Talk about storage possibilities - a warehouse.

Wow! Isn’t that every woman’s dream?

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Taking a Break from the Phone????

I don’t like to talk on the phone. Never have. As a matter of fact, I detest being on the phone.

Why? I have absolutely no idea.



That’s the reason it shocked me when Mom and I ended a phone call a few days ago and I realized we had talked for about an hour and a half.



An hour and a half? That’s about 88 or 89 minutes longer than most of my phone conversations.

This was a special situation, though.

I’m getting three little books ready for publication, and Mom is serving as “editorial consultant,” i.e. typical mom.

On this particular day, we were going page by page over the phone, talking about corrections, changes, suggestions and so forth. It was a somewhat complicated procedure because I had made some minor changes, just enough that our versions weren’t exactly alike.

After about an hour, Mom asked, “Why don’t we take a break, go get something to eat, then come back to this?”

And that’s when she realized this wouldn’t work; we weren’t in the same place. We weren't even in the same town!

She said she had been thinking of several places where we could go grab a quick bite to eat before returning to our work at hand.

That’s something rather difficult to do when you’re over 100 miles apart, don’t you think?


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The Answer Was What?????

I guess it was in the 10th grade that I really learned to listen. To really, really listen.


It was an experience that taught me how to listen and helped me learn how to use words as well as how to phrase them.

Oddly enough, the class was U. S. History and the teacher was Mr. William Moses.

Mr. Moses was tall, slightly on the slim side of average; he had black hair with touches of gray and almost always wore a black suit, white dress shirt and tie. His nose held black-rimmed glasses. His smile, which seemed to be a rare thing, was slight, and he had a dry sense of humor.

Isabelle Moses, his sister, was an elementary school teacher, and his wife worked in the school office.

On irregular occasions, Mr. Moses announced pop quizzes. (Do they even have those in classrooms any more?) He would say that each student should get out one piece of paper and a pencil and that we should put all books under our desks. These were words to strike fear and trepidation into our very beings.

It wasn’t unusual for one of his quizzes to include an extremely easy question – a “gimme.” Mr. Moses included a “gimme” on this particular day, and it was the very first question.

With a monotone voice, Mr. Moses said, “Name the country that gained its independence from Great Britain as a result of the Revolutionary War in the late 1700s.”

Whew! That was truly a “gimme.” We didn’t have to respond with complete sentences, so I hurriedly wrote “U.S.”

Imagine my shock when the test was returned with a big red “X” by that first answer.

Mr. Moses explained that he had asked for the name of the country, not the abbreviation of the name of the country.

Yep, that’s when I learned to listen to exact words and to pay close attention.



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Oh, Mrs. Littlejohn, Where Art Thou?

I just heard one of the news guys on TV talking about a weekend event. He reported that a photographer took “nude photographs of men and women.”

So, my question is this: Were the photographs nude or were the men and women nude?

In our high school, we had some excellent English teachers. (Actually, we had top-notch teachers in several areas.) One of the exceptional English teachers was Mrs. Iva Littlejohn, a legend at Lexington High School. She was also strict and she had high expectations for her students. 

I believe Mrs. Littlejohn would agree that the newscaster should have indicated there were photographs of nude men and women, not nude photographs.

Another example of questionable usage has to do with some of those classified ads in newspapers. They can get down-right disturbing.

There’s one that runs over and over and over. And it’s no wonder. They’re looking for “part-time people.”

Now, I know some folks who might not be playing with a full deck and who might seem somewhat out of it from time to time, but they’re still full-time people. Once a person, always a person.


Those folks doin’ the hirin’ might better find a way to use full-time people in those jobs ‘cause I imagine they are having a hard time finding part-time people.

If, of course, they’re looking for full-time people to fill part-time jobs, that’s a whole different story.



Oh, Mrs. Littlejohn, the world still needs you!

Lumps and Plums and Even Some Rubies

My fascination with words continues, and I’m especially intrigued with anagrams, i.e. the rearrangement of letters in one word or phrase into another word or phrase. Sometimes those rearrangements are funny, sometimes strange and sometimes just downright intriguing.


I’m sharing a few today, most of which are nonsensical:


She asked, “Do you know the CAUSES of the lumps in the SAUCES?” With a SLUMP, I answered, “Those aren’t LUMPS; those are PLUMS.”

It IRKS me when I take a RISK.

He LIED, “I couldn’t get food; the DELI was IDLE.”

I watched the TIDE with my hands TIED. This made it difficult to EDIT my work but easy to DIET.

The man said he gets a BRUISE easily when he BURIES RUBIES. (Yes, I know; why would anyone bury rubies?)

I learned when I was GROWN that I had been all WRONG – about many things!

I’ve finally decided to THROW out anything of little WORTH.

He was so EVIL and VILE he decided to LIVE under a VEIL of secrecy.

Peek through a SLAT; you’ll see that the LAST thing I add is SALT.

The ELBOW and the BOWEL are BELOW one’s shoulders.

The drinks FLOWED, so I WOLFED them down.


That’s all for this time. Aren’t you glad?


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How Do YOU Say It????

Here we go again!


Last week we talked about Southern sayings, or perhaps that should be sayin’s. Once again, let’s take a look at some phrases – just ‘cause I’m wondering how you do your communicatin’.

What about that thing you use in the grocery store? Do you call it a buggy or a cart? I’m told that one of those is strictly Southern.

After the trip to the grocery store or market, how do you get those purchases inside? Do you tote them or carry them, or, better yet, wait on someone else to do the work?

When driving, do you slow up or slow down? Maybe you never do either one, you speedster.

At the elevator, some folks push a button while others say they mash the button or hit the button.

Then there’s that light switch issue. Do you switch on the light, cut on the light or turn on the light? The same possibilities apply to the TV and to many other appliances and electronic devices.

What’s the difference in cleaning up and just cleaning? Mopping up and mopping? Sweeping up and sweeping? (Yes, I know: there are those who talk only of “sweeping out” – meaning getting rid of all incumbents in office.)


Now, after getting those groceries inside and getting the house clean, are you done, or through, or maybe finished?


This is all I’m writin’ this time, so I’m either done, through or finished!

                             Take your pic, honey-chil’.



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Do You Understand Southern, Dahling?

Do you understand "southern," dahling?  If so, well just bless yo' pea-picking lil ol' heart!

That's good, 'cause now I’m fixin’ to tell you something.

You do know what that means, don’t you? When you’re fixin’ to do something, you’re about to do it; you’re getting ready to do it. You’re not quite doing it yet but you’re almost at the point of doing it. You just can't do something if you haven't fixed to do it.

This is just one example of an idiom that’s peculiar to parts of the south. There are oodles more.

I thought everybody knew about  cow licks but I found out that’s just not the case the other day when I told somebody I have one. I believe that person thought I had been out in a pasture when a cow licked me! A cow lick is a bit or chunk of hair that does its own thing. Actually, I have two of ‘em, and they’re awfully inconvenient, don't you know?

Have you ever heard someone say “that dog don’t hunt?” This means the story just doesn’t add up; it doesn’t make sense.

When you’re “barking up the wrong tree,” you’re on the wrong track or you’re just plain wrong.

But, when you’re right and you’re doing something special, someone just might ask you to “give me some sugar.” This doesn’t mean the person wants to borrow a cup of sugar from you; this means “give me a kiss.”

We could go on and on with Southern sayings.  I've got lots more favorite ones so we’ll discuss some of those on down the road a bit.

But, that’s it for now, so here’s to you ‘til next time – God willing and the creek don’t rise.

In the meantime, what are some of your favorite ones?  Are there sayings and idioms you've just never understood?

 

 

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Conversation by Inference: You Know What I Mean

Just the other day, The Duppster and I were going somewhere in his truck. He was driving.

Now, this is significant, because for a long, long time I’ve had this thing about riding with other people. I’m what folks call a “back-seat driver,” although I don’t mean to be. When I see brake lights in front of me, I gasp or holler or freak out or something. I try to put on brakes from the passenger side (on those rare occasions when I actually consent to riding with someone.)

I understand that this is not a good thing; being a “Nervous Nelly” is not admirable. I intend to be a good passenger. Usually, I fail.

So anyway, as we were going along - with Dupp at the wheel - after a few too many gasps and grimaces from “yours truly”, he looked at me and lovingly said, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

And that’s what this post is really about.

You see, my thought was that there are some things that I want to have happen to me. Maybe I want a genie to grant me three wishes. Maybe I want to win the lottery (which would be somewhat difficult since I’ve never even bought a ticket.) But, don’t you see? There are good things that might happen to people, so I wouldn’t want Dupp to keep everything from happening to me.

 

As we talked about it, Dupp offered that the word “bad” is there by inference, that I could tell what he meant.

Maybe we often have conversation by inference, understanding what is being said or intended even if the plain words might be interpreted a different way.

Another example happened last week at the doctor’s office to which I had been referred. Any time a person goes to a new provider’s office, there are pages of paperwork to fill out.

One question included in last week’s paperwork was this: “Do you have religious beliefs that might affect your treatment?” I wrote “no.”

And then it struck me. Yes, of course, I do! I have religious beliefs that might affect my treatment. In fact, I certainly hope they will.

After all, isn’t that one of the reason we pray?

 
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I Just Heard It On The News

Yep, I just heard the following on the news:  “A car came up to him and started shooting.” 

Technology is amazing, isn't it?  They're manufacturing cars that can do all kinds of things!

You Know How I Am About Words!

Just returned from the grocery store.  Shared on Facebook this photo I took at the store but thought I'd also share it here on the blog. 

Just FYI:  I did NOT buy any of the advertised special!

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Tea Party for a Threesome

Me, myself and I. Or is it myself, me and I?

I remember a children’s rhyme about the questionable “threesome”:

I had a little Tea Party

This afternoon at three;

‘Twas very small -

Three guests in all:

Just I, Myself and Me.

Myself ate up the sandwiches;

I drank up the tea;

‘Twas also I who ate the pie,

And passed the cake to me. (J.N. North)

Unfortunately, many people confuse these three pronouns and use them incorrectly – which is such a shame when there’s an easy way to remember which to use when. The misuse crosses generational lines, educational levels, professional divisions.

I’ve heard ministers, politicians, lawyers, doctors and talk show hosts getting the words mixed up.

Here’s an example of something that is wrong: “They brought that back for Jane and I.” This should have been “They brought that back for Jane and me.”

If you don’t remember the actual rules about objects and subjects, just try this easy step: imagine saying the phrase without the other person. In the above example, try saying the sentence without Jane. “They brought that back for I.” No, that is obviously wrong. It should be “They brought that back for me.” If the correct word is “me” without the other person, it’s also “me” with the other person.

I have a friend who frequently beings sentences with “Me and her went . . .” or “Me and her saw that movie . . .” Ugh! This just grates on my nerves!

Yes, it could be worse. He could say “Me and her seen that movie . . .”




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Bugs and Wishes

You know, sometimes education just gets in the way of figurin’ things out and in working out problems.


In many circles, “working things out” gets called something else – like mediation, negotiation, arbitration or conflict resolution. These terms are often used in law, social work, education, real estate, human resources, counseling, religion or other fields.

I’ve taken courses in negotiation, mediation and conflict resolution. I’m even “certified” in International Commercial Arbitration.

But there are some elementary students who make the process a whole lot easier. They use a method called “a bug and a wish.” It’s a simple procedure but it takes a bit of explaining.

Do you remember being in elementary school and telling the teacher that somebody hit you, or that someone pulled your pigtails, or that a classmate laughed at you, or that someone looked at your paper?

Now, there’s a new way to handle these squabbles, as well as others. It’s a practice being used in places by the youngest of students.

If a classmate pulls a child’s hair, the child has the opportunity to announce “a bug and a wish.” The child may say, “It really bugs me when somebody pulls my hair. I wish this would stop because it makes my head hurt and it embarrasses me.”

Or how about this scenario: “It bugs me when we play ‘Red Rover’ at recess because I never get picked until last. I wish that someone would pick me before the end so that I will be happy and feel better about playing.”

The students are introduced to the bug-and-wish practice at the beginning of the school year. All realize that there is an invisible safety net around them as they mention their bugs and wishes. Children are allowed to express themselves, to reveal what hurts them or angers them and to ask for help in stopping the hurtful behaviors.

The reports are that bugs and wishes are working wonders in the classrooms.

I tend to believe this practice might work in families, in the workplace, in churches and in all kinds of situations involving conflicts.

No, I doubt bugs and wishes will end wars but they certainly might help in daily personal relationship battles and in workplace conflicts.

It’s certainly worth a try, don’t you think?



 
 
 
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