Telephones & Shoes

There was another one of those wacky holidays earlier this week. It was “Inane Answering Machine Message Day.”

Boy, did that ever bring back memories, mostly funny ones.

Back before just about everybody had a cell phone, we had an answering machine on the home phone.



Now, bear in mind that I’ve always believed in having fun in life, turning the bland and ordinary into something to smile – or even laugh – about.

For a long time, the message folks heard on our answering machine when they called in asked them to leave name, phone number and shoe size. You simply would not believe the number of people who left shoe sizes. One person even explained her shoe sizes.

One Sunday, the vicar at our church asked if I had a collection of shoes that I was looking to match up with people!

One caller left a message explaining that her shoe size depended on what kind of shoe it was, and she went into a lot more detail. That was one hilarious message.

An old friend I’d not talked to in ages, left his response, revealing his shoe size, then adding, “Sherry, you’re just as crazy as ever. You haven’t changed a bit.”

I returned his call the following day. When he answered the phone, I simply asked, “Is this shoe size 11?” He laughed and laughed.

Oh, yes, I had fun with this, but there was a negative side. I spent a lot of time looking at people’s feet after that, especially if someone revealed an especially large shoe size or a size that seemed exceptionally small or wide or whatever.

One thing’s for sure: this made listening to messages at the end of the day something enjoyable rather than something to dread.



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Drawing the Line

Sometimes I just wonder where we draw the line, and I’m wondering that again now.

This time, it has to do with government. (That’s a shock, huh?)

Throughout the country, officials at different governmental levels are working to ban texting while driving.

Some argue that texting while driving is dangerous and outright absurd. Some say that talking on a cell phone while driving is just as hazardous as texting.

I’ve even heard differing viewpoints about whether hands-free use of the cell phone is less distracting than holding a phone while talking. There are studies that show both sides of that.

My concern today, though, is not whether or not it’s safe to do any of these but instead how far the government should go in regulating people’s lives.

Years ago, when I was a member of the SC senate, one of my colleagues introduced legislation to prohibit people from reading (newspapers, books, magazines and such) while driving.

Then another senator offered an amendment to prohibit people from scratching their elbows while driving. After all, he argued, scratching one’s elbow means one hand is not on the steering wheel and the other arm might involuntarily move. This, he said, was a definite distraction.

Of course his point was that a government cannot outlaw every possible distraction.

A parent who turns around to look at a child in the back seat is endangering the lives of everyone in that car as well as others on the road. Should the government outlaw turning around momentarily while driving?

Oprah Winfrey has started a campaign to stop texting while driving but not through the government. She asks all of her celebrity guests on her TV show to sign a pledge not to text while driving. There are others who are doing the same sort of thing.

I know I shouldn’t text while driving but am I less likely to do so because of a governmental restriction?

Where do you think we draw the line?

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PH: Murphy Moved In - and There Are Pictures to Prove It!

Murphy moved in last week.

Well, it wasn’t a person named Murphy; instead, it was Murphy’s Law.

The theme for this week's Photo Hunt in blogland was -- well, there wasn't a theme.  It was a "free" week in which anything goes.  I had my own theme this week: nothing goes, and that's where Murphy comes in.

It was Thursday; the final extension for filing income taxes was up – as of midnight. Close to lunch time, the CPA’s office e-mailed the two signature sheets for me to open, print, sign, scan and then return to them for electronic filing.

When the e-mail arrived, I was in the middle of printing 20 sets of song sheets for use that night where I was providing piano music. With 16 of the 20 sets printed, the printer ran out of black ink – totally!!! I thought I had spare cartridges stored somewhere, but Murphy must have moved them.

With the warning about no ink staring at me on the computer screen, I looked at the time. It was around 1:30. My piano engagement was to start at 5 pm.

I left hurriedly to purchase more cartridges. With this taken care of, I returned to the printer, installed the black cartridge, went to the computer and hit the button to restart the printing.

Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.

I checked the printer, the computer, the wireless router. Even made certain I was holding my mouth right! Still nothing.

Finally, something clicked. I printed out the two signature sheets from the CPA, then tried to continue with the last few sets of song sheets. Again, nothing happened.

Since I had printed the signature sheets, I signed where indicated, then set the all-in-one printer to “scan.” It made a noise but didn’t scan. I tried and tried. Finally – and I really mean finally - both scanned as pictures rather than as documents.

But they wouldn’t scan to the computer. Instead, they scanned to a “jump drive” or USB removable storage disk. Such a seemingly simple task, it took a LONG time. While one document was converting to a picture for scanning, I hurriedly got dressed for the music gig.

Then, while the second document followed the same long path, I gathered what music and song sheets I had and put them in the car.

It was about 4:15 when I could finally e-mail the signed document/photographs to the CPA. I sent them, then left for the three-hour entertainment gig.

Somehow, in the midst of all of this, I left part of my body back at home. It’s not really an anatomical part of the body; it’s usually referred to as a cell phone or Blackberry.


When I got back home around 8:30, there were phone calls, messages and e-mails galore. Apparently the CPA’s office had received one of the attachments but not the other. There were three calls from his office, messages from a daughter and my mother – letting me know that the CPA was trying to reach me.

I rescanned the document in question and attached it to another e-mail. Then I called his office to see if the attachment arrived this time. The call was answered by voice mail. Had they given up and gone for the day?

Bear in mind, the midnight deadline was absolute.

Finally, I got an e-mail confirming that the document was received and was being filed before midnight.

Hallelujah!

But I still couldn’t print anything.

Friday morning, I found the installation disk and reinstalled the printer. Voila! There was a message that the document was printing.

But it didn’t.

I went on-line, read the troubleshooter manual, tried everything suggested, all to no avail. Murphy was still in the house!

Finally I tried an on-line “chat” with a member of the tech support team.

We were on line with each other for three hours and thirty-five minutes!!!!  That guy had the patience of Job!

By late Friday night, the printer and computer were communicating with each other and working!

Of course, by then, I was too tired to even look at the computer screen again.

Leave me alone, Murphy. Please!

 

 

Other Photo Hunt participants: here.

Tomorrow -- more about Murphy's Law.

How Close is Too Close for E-mail???

New neighbors are moving in next door.

When I met the husband half of the couple two days ago, he mentioned that his wife was looking for employment. I suggested a particular link on the web that might be beneficial and said I would e-mail the link to them, which I did.

I just received a reply from the wife half of the couple. She thanked me, then said she felt silly e-mailing someone who was just next door.

This reminded me of something.


My ex-husband and I met on the internet but not on one of the dating sites or anything similar. Somehow, we just ran across each other accidentally when we were involved with or researching the same topic somehow – history, politics, government; I don’t remember exactly what.

Shortly, we were e-mailing each other back and forth about things going on in South Carolina, where we both lived. This went on and on – about state politics, shipwrecks (his ventures), word oddities and more – for hours and hours, then days and days, then weeks and weeks. We figured we logged over 500 hours chatting with each other on-line before we ever had a first date.

After we got married, we sometimes e-mailed each other from within the SAME house! Isn’t that crazy? It’s much sillier than neighbors e-mailing each other.

Of course, this may be one of the reasons we are now exes; we communicated much better online than in person, I guess.

(In case you’ve read much on this blog, yes, he’s the same one who is now married to my cousin, so he is now my cousin-by-marriage!)

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Okay, so maybe there aren't that many inquiring minds and maybe I’m the only one who wants to know, but I am very curious about something.

It’s fair to assume, I believe, that most people who read blogs probably have cell phones. Cell phones display the number or the name - or both - of the caller when a all comes through.

The question is this: Do you always answer your phone when it rings? Do you look to see who is calling first? Do you answer even if the number is an unknown one?

In the last few days, I’ve been getting anywhere from 2 to 6 calls per day from an “unknown number.” That’s what shows up on the screen and that’s it. The person calling never leaves a message – and I don’t answer the ringing phone. These calls just started recently and they've continued every day.

Am I wrong not to answer? If the caller really wants to reach me, shouldn’t he/she leave a message?

Besides, do we have phones for our own convenience or for the convenience of others? When I’m relaxing or when I’m busy, I don’t want to answer polls about political candidates or learn that I've been selected to visit a resort with no obligation except to listenj to brief presentation.

What do you think?

Ever Had Fun With An Answering Machine or Voice Mail?

Answering machines and voice mail have become a way of life. That doesn’t mean we have to like them or even enjoy them, but we as a society still use them.

Because they are so prevalent but so disliked, I’ve tried to always have fun messages for people who called me.

For example, one time the message to callers was to leave name, phone number and shoe size.

You wouldn’t believe the number of people who actually left shoe sizes. One caller even explained that it depended on the style of shoe and described which shoe meant which size!

One of our pastors asked me if I had a collection of shoes I was trying to match up with people.

Years ago, the message was to leave name, phone number and favorite television show. Boy, did I have fun with that! There were some really interesting answers to that question!

A friend from church called and left his name, phone number and said his favorite show was “Baywatch.” Yep, that’s the one that featured shapely females who were somewhat scantily clad. Then there was a second call from the same man; this time he said, “Sherry, don’t tell my wife what I said about my favorite show. P-l-e-a-s-e.”

The first President Bush – George H. W. Bush – called when he was still vice president but running for president. Along with a message, he left the name of his favorite show. No, I’m not revealing what it was.

After that call, I changed the message for a while to the following: “Hi. I know you don’t like answering machines, but if the vice president of the United States can leave a message, you can, too, so please leave your name and number.”