Shang-a-Lang, Shotgun Shuffle and Short Fat Fannie

Today, the 27th, is “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day.”


Based on some of the songs I’ve heard, this ought to be a month-long celebration instead of one day only!

I started thinking about some of the funny country music titles and then those thoughts turned to all kinds of songs, not just country. These aren’t necessarily humorous songs but just titles that I find amusing. Also, there are some hilarious songs out there, but the names aren’t necessarily funny, so I didn’t include them.

Do you remember any of these? What others do you recall?



♪ If Money Talks, It Ain’t On Speaking Terms With Me

♪ AEIOU and Sometimes Y

♪ Sam, You Made the Pants Too Long

♪ I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Like Having You Here

♪ Who Threw the Overalls in Mistress Murphy’s Chowder

♪ Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the Bed

♪ I’m Gettin’ Gray From Being Blue

♪ Stray Cat Strut

♪ I Don’t Know whether to Kill Myself or Go Bowling

♪ No Diggety

♪ How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Loved You When You Know I’ve Been a Liar All my Life?

♪ Jubilation T. Cornpone

♪ My Mommy Said Not to Put Beans in My Ears

♪ I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim’s Gettin’ Better

♪ Bell Bottom Blues

♪ Yes, We Have No Bananas

♪ John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt

♪ I’m My Own Grandpa

♪ Who Put the Turtle in Myrtle’s Girdle

♪ Red Necks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer

♪ I Bought the Shoes that Just Walked Out on Me

♪ They’re Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Ha

♪ I Wish I Were a Woman So I Could Go Out With a Guy Like Me

♪ One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

♪ I Wanna Beer as Cold as My Ex-Wife’s Heart

♪ My Boomerang Won’t Come Back

♪ Mama Get The Hammer, There’s a Fly on Papa’s Head

♪ The One on the Right is On the Left

♪ What Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made a Loser Out of Me

♪ When the Lightning Struck the Coon Creek Party Line

♪ If Whiskey Were a Woman I’d Be Married for Sure

♪ She Came In Through the Bathroom Window

♪ Forget the Night, Help Me Make It Through the Door

♪ Angels Flying Too Close to the Ground

♪ If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I’d Blow It All On You

♪ She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger

♪ How Come Your Dog Don’t Bite Nobody But Me?

♪ Snooker Loopy

♪ Snookeroo

♪ You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

♪ Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar

♪ Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen By The Sea

♪ I’m Sorry I Made You Cry But At Least Your Face is Cleaner

♪ Champagne in a Dixie Cup

♪ Poor Dog Who Can’t Wag His Own Tail

♪ Her Teeth were Stained but Her Heart was Pure

♪ Son of Hickory Hollers Tramp

♪ If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?

♪ She Made Toothpicks Out of the Timber of My Heart

♪ If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I’d Find on You

♪ Bony Maronie

♪ I Haven't Gone To Bed With Ugly Women, But I've Sure Woke Up With a Few

♪ I’m Left, You’re Right, She’s Gone

♪ All My Exes Live in Texas

♪ A Pub With No Beer

♪ I Thought She Was Out Jogging, But She Was Running Around On Me

♪ Be-Bop-A-Lula

♪ Sleeping Single in a Double Bed

♪ Where Will the Baby’s Dimple Be

♪ I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You

♪ Some Kind-A Earthquake

♪ The Purple People Eater

♪ Tennessee Wig Walk

♪ Milk Cow Blues Boogie

♪ Short Fat Fannie

♪ Gave Her My Heart and a Diamond and She Clubbed Me With a Spade

♪ Some Days It Rains All Night Long

♪ Still is Still Moving to Me

♪ Barney Google With the Goo Goo Googly Eyes

♪ Somebody Bad Stole De Wedding Bell

♪ She Blinded Me With Science

♪ Never Do a Tango With an Eskimo

♪ Simon Smith and His Amazing Dancing Bear

♪ Shotgun Shuffle

♪ Puddin’ n’ Tain

♪ Shoplifters of the World Unite

♪ Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

♪ Shakin’ Your Tree

♪ The Size of a Cow

♪ Rockin’ Pneumonia, Boogie Woogie Flu

♪ Pants on the Ground

♪ Jeepers Creepers, Where’d You Get Those Peepers

♪ One Inch Rock

♪ Shake for the Sheik

♪ Nothing On But the Radio

♪ Set the Fire to the Third Bar

♪ AbbaDabba Honeymoon

♪ Peppermint Twist

♪ Shang-a-Lang

♪ Pickin’ a Chicken

♪ Seven Little Girls Sitting in the Back Seat

♪ Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?

♪ Apples, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie

♪ Pain is So Close to Pleasure

♪ Arrested While Driving Blind

♪ Ay Ay Ay Ay Moosey

 
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PH: Murphy Moved In - and There Are Pictures to Prove It!

Murphy moved in last week.

Well, it wasn’t a person named Murphy; instead, it was Murphy’s Law.

The theme for this week's Photo Hunt in blogland was -- well, there wasn't a theme.  It was a "free" week in which anything goes.  I had my own theme this week: nothing goes, and that's where Murphy comes in.

It was Thursday; the final extension for filing income taxes was up – as of midnight. Close to lunch time, the CPA’s office e-mailed the two signature sheets for me to open, print, sign, scan and then return to them for electronic filing.

When the e-mail arrived, I was in the middle of printing 20 sets of song sheets for use that night where I was providing piano music. With 16 of the 20 sets printed, the printer ran out of black ink – totally!!! I thought I had spare cartridges stored somewhere, but Murphy must have moved them.

With the warning about no ink staring at me on the computer screen, I looked at the time. It was around 1:30. My piano engagement was to start at 5 pm.

I left hurriedly to purchase more cartridges. With this taken care of, I returned to the printer, installed the black cartridge, went to the computer and hit the button to restart the printing.

Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing.

I checked the printer, the computer, the wireless router. Even made certain I was holding my mouth right! Still nothing.

Finally, something clicked. I printed out the two signature sheets from the CPA, then tried to continue with the last few sets of song sheets. Again, nothing happened.

Since I had printed the signature sheets, I signed where indicated, then set the all-in-one printer to “scan.” It made a noise but didn’t scan. I tried and tried. Finally – and I really mean finally - both scanned as pictures rather than as documents.

But they wouldn’t scan to the computer. Instead, they scanned to a “jump drive” or USB removable storage disk. Such a seemingly simple task, it took a LONG time. While one document was converting to a picture for scanning, I hurriedly got dressed for the music gig.

Then, while the second document followed the same long path, I gathered what music and song sheets I had and put them in the car.

It was about 4:15 when I could finally e-mail the signed document/photographs to the CPA. I sent them, then left for the three-hour entertainment gig.

Somehow, in the midst of all of this, I left part of my body back at home. It’s not really an anatomical part of the body; it’s usually referred to as a cell phone or Blackberry.


When I got back home around 8:30, there were phone calls, messages and e-mails galore. Apparently the CPA’s office had received one of the attachments but not the other. There were three calls from his office, messages from a daughter and my mother – letting me know that the CPA was trying to reach me.

I rescanned the document in question and attached it to another e-mail. Then I called his office to see if the attachment arrived this time. The call was answered by voice mail. Had they given up and gone for the day?

Bear in mind, the midnight deadline was absolute.

Finally, I got an e-mail confirming that the document was received and was being filed before midnight.

Hallelujah!

But I still couldn’t print anything.

Friday morning, I found the installation disk and reinstalled the printer. Voila! There was a message that the document was printing.

But it didn’t.

I went on-line, read the troubleshooter manual, tried everything suggested, all to no avail. Murphy was still in the house!

Finally I tried an on-line “chat” with a member of the tech support team.

We were on line with each other for three hours and thirty-five minutes!!!!  That guy had the patience of Job!

By late Friday night, the printer and computer were communicating with each other and working!

Of course, by then, I was too tired to even look at the computer screen again.

Leave me alone, Murphy. Please!

 

 

Other Photo Hunt participants: here.

Tomorrow -- more about Murphy's Law.

Gov. Mark Sanford: Number One Songs, Then & Now

When Mark and Jenny Sanford got married on Nov. 4, 1989, the number one song in the U.S. was “Listen to Your Heart” by Roxette.

Sometime later – about 12 or so years later – the heart he was listening to was saying "Argentina." And, as far as we can tell – and based on what the SC governor says – his heart is still in Argentina.

Where his heart is, though, is not the concern of our state’s citizens. Where his head is – now that is of concern to the citizenry.

Based on his actions, his heart and his head - and all of the rest of him - have been in Argentina lately.

His personal life is his business. We’ve never had a perfect elected official and we never will. We elect them, imperfections and all.

But when we elect our officials, while we may not expect perfection, we most certainly expect them to carry out the duties of their respective offices.

That is where Mark Sanford failed the state of South Carolina.

His betrayal of his wife, his absence from his four sons on Father’s Day – those are not impeachable offenses, although they most likely brought to a standstill his presidential ambitions.

His failures as husband and father are the business of the Sanford family. His failure as governor is of public concern, and rightly so.

Some officials claim that Sanford is so head-over-heels “ga-ga” in love with his Argentinean soul mate that he is not thinking clearly and can’t effectively govern even with his return to the state. A few are suggesting a chemical imbalance and mental instability, among other things.

Does being “ga-ga” in love mean the governor is incapacitated to the extent that he cannot effectively govern? I don’t know.

But he was definitely incapacitated geographically and unable to govern when he left the country for five days, slipping away from his own security and making himself unreachable by any living soul in the United States. There is reason to question his judgment, his decision-making skills, his concern for the state.

Some pundits say, “Oh, well, there was no emergency, so everything is okay.”
That there was no actual emergency does not excuse Sanford.

South Carolina has faced emergencies before: several hurricanes over the years, riots, the recent Myrtle Beach wildfires, for example. Anything could happen without notice: a train derailment, an airplane crash, a disease outbreak.

Maybe Sanford, who still declares that Maria in Argentina is his soul-mate, is thinking about that famous line from the movie Love Story: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

He might do better to quote Marlon Brando in the 1954 movie On the Waterfront: "I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it."

Or perhaps he should just go by the title of this week’s Billboard chart-topper. It’s by The Black Eyed Peas: "The E.N.D."