I think it’s time to get a fake ID.
Yep, one of those cards – like teenagers get when they want to pretend they are 18 or 21 or some other age. My reasons are different, though.
I was at a grocery store the other day. It was a chain that I don’t shop in much any more, but I was out of town and this one was close. I couldn’t find my old “frequent buyer” card, so I went to the customer service counter to get a new one. Like most people, I wanted to save a few cents here and there on purchases.
The lady at the counter had two stacks of papers. One was the application for the card; the second was the card application for senior citizens. She glanced at me and, without speaking a word, she handed me the senior citizens’ application!
The lady could have been at least gracious enough to ask if I qualified as a senior citizen, but, no, she just took one look – one look that said, “Oh, yeah, you’re old.”
The age qualification for senior citizen status varies from place to place. Some use 55 or 60; others might use 62, 65, 70 or even as young as 50.
By this particular store’s standards, I am NOT a senior citizen. Did you see the word “not”? I am NOT a senior citizen. Okay, so I will be in two months. That does not mean I want someone to glance at me and assume that I am.
There are definite advantages to being a senior citizen. There are discounts involved at many places.
So, why in the world would I want a fake ID? After all, the reason for the card is to save money.
Well, see, if I get an ID card that indicates I’m 80 or 85, I’d show it – and hope people would say, “Oh, wow, you really look good for 85!”
Hey, you get this age, you work for compliments any way you can get ‘em!