7/10/09

Punny Words!

Regular readers of this blog (if there are any!) know that I love words. I'm intrigued by them. This includes working and creating crossword puzzles and playing other word games. And I especially love puns. So, today, I'm sharing a few:

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.


5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'



14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
* * * * * *
Thanks to Mom for sharing these.

6 comments:

Mary said...

Sherry,

Thanks for stopping by my Writing Nook and commenting on the Charley Pride post. The show was awesome.

Enjoyed exploring your blog. Stop by again.

Blessings,
Mary

skywind said...

Oh, very funny. The different word's combination expresses the meaning is infinitely varied. LOL
Health information & Humor & Fun World

Sandee said...

These are some good ones for sure. I wish I would have found them first. Just saying.

Have a terrific day and weekend Sherry. :)

The Retired One said...

Did you hear about the smart butcher? He was soooo clever.
(Just like these!)

feefifoto said...

An optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.

Margaret LaVonne Hall said...

Groan...don't know any of my own, you really hit the jackpot on these! Fun stuff...Thanks for the smiles this evening....

 
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