Is This a Phone or What?

Two days ago I bought a new cell phone. This new phone can do all kinds of things. It synchronizes a calendar on the phone with the calendar on my computer. It takes pictures. It takes videos. It will even access the Internet. I left the phone store SO excited, just like a child with a new toy.
The joy didn’t last long. Yes, there are a lot of things this phone can do. The trouble is that I can’t do any of them!
It took me about six hours to figure out how to answer the doggone thing! Within 24 hours I had actually figured out how to call out on the phone.
For a while, I’ve thought it was great how people could have different ringtones for different callers or groups of callers. One tone for family, one for friends, perhaps another for co-workers.
So, I sat down with the phone and the manual to set up those ringtones. The instructions were to go to a contact’s name, select “options” and then “advanced.” Well, there was no “advanced” on the screen. I looked everywhere; I scrolled up and I scrolled down, but still couldn’t locate anything that said “advanced.”
After about two hours, I decided that, for the time being, I’d just settle for the same ringtone for everything and everybody. With a bit of looking, I found a ringtones folder and opened it. A message popped up saying the folder was empty and there were no ringtones available!
No ringtones available? This is a phone we’re talking about, right????