I'm Crooked!

I’m crooked.

Now I know that’s a very unusual statement coming from someone who spent many years in the political arena. It’s usually said about politicians rather than by them.

But I’m also not talking about that kind of crookedness. It’s a physical thing.

One ear is shorter than the other. Or maybe it’s just placed lower on my head than the other ear. At any rate, both ears don’t stop at the same level. It’s especially noticeable with some pairs of earrings, unless, of course, I hold my head tilted to one side all day long. But I have to get that tilt just right!

I’ve known for a while now that my legs were different lengths from each other. That causes terrible back and hip pain, especially if I’m standing in one place for a while or kneeling, which is why sometimes in church, when others kneel, I simply sit in the pew.

Even my feet aren’t exactly the same size, but I understand that’s not very unusual. This might be why I like to go barefooted as much as possible.

One of my daughters tells me my smile is crooked also. The reason she fusses about it is that she says she has inherited the crooked smile. It seems to really bother her.

As far as I can tell, my eyes are at the same level; they seem to match each other.

What this means, obviously, is that if I walk around with my head tilted so that my ears will be even, then my eyes won’t be.

Oh, well. Such is the life of a crooked person.