I thought I’d share this news with family, friends and even strangers at the same time: I’ve got a new roommate!
I can’t tell you his name because, the truth is, that I haven’t met him yet. But I know he’s here. The signs are obvious.
The way that I know he’s here is that I keep finding things in the oddest places, and I’m quite confident I’ve not put them there.
This is also why I’m assuming the roommate is a “he”; women are far too organized to put things in the crazy places he has been using.
Lately, he’s been turning on lights that I know I have turned off.
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Sometimes, when I’m in a hurry and searching frantically for my keys, he secretly gets them and puts them in my left hand. Since I’m right-handed, I know that I would not be holding my keys in my left hand on my own.
One day last week, he drank the last diet Coke in the house, so I didn’t have one the next morning. Since I don’t drink coffee and diet Coke is my sole source of caffeine and alertness in the mornings, this was disastrous. And I’ll tell him so when I see him.
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Another time he put a diet Coke in the freezer – and left it there. Yes, it exploded.
This morning he really messed things up. He put my clean clothes in the washing machine. The way I realized this was that the washing machine was covering a load of clothes with soapy water; when I walked into my bedroom, the pile of dirty clothes was right in the middle of the floor. Someone put the clean clothes in the machine; he had to be the culprit.
Another day he forgot to flush the toilet. Horrors!
He constantly moves things so that I can’t find them: mail, scissors, pens, even my shoes on occasion.
If only I could get him to take out the trash!
- copyright 2008 - Sherry Shealy Martschink
5 comments:
YOU are a holy terror of the blogging world. I am SO glad that I found you! Now I have more ideas to steal. . I mean BORROW, because I'm nice that way, always leaving a link to my muse.
Now I know why we discovered my car keys (three months after having the cars re-keyed and coded) hanging on the incoming water pipe BEHIND the washer. (true story)
Your visitor must have a twin who lives at my house. He really needs to go visit someone else for a while!
Sherry...this was so funny...sounds almost like an EX-husband! I do enjoy your blog...
;-) Bo
You are either extraordinarily preoccupied and forgetful, or extraordinarily composed about a spiritual presence, or extraordinarily capable of spoof.
I don't know which I'm voting for.
How fun ... I'm glad you revisited this entertaining post from a year ago since I've only found your blog recently.
Hugs and blessings,
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