My Olympic Sports

Another ending of the Olympics and I've still never earned a gold medal – or any other color - but I have gotten blue ribbons in sports competitions. Not the Olympics, of course, but I’m talking about real sports.

Way back when, I was the county sack race champion! (Note: I said county sack race champion, not county sack champion; there’s a big difference!) Now this is something that takes effort, ability and stamina. Not just anyone can put both legs into an old fertilizer sack (burlap bag) and run while holding the bag up. Actually, I believe sack racing must run in our family. Mom was the champion in her age category; brother Rod may have won in his age category.

Some folks like hopping instead of running in the sacks. Mom and I always ran, however. It was our bit of “strategery.”

Many years have passed but I believe I could still run in the sack – IF I could even fit into the sack. (Remember? I’m on Weight Watchers.)

In fact, the sack race actually was a part of the 1904 Olympics in St. Louis, according to one source. A fun sport that doesn’t require lessons and hours of training – and, doggone, it didn’t last!!!! (The particular session of the Olympics lasted from July 1904 through November 1904 and not all of the events ended up being considered legitimate; the sack race must have been one that didn't get the nod.)

Sack racing wasn’t our only sport, though. There was the popular three-legged race. This required, in addition to the aforementioned effort, ability and stamina, coordination & cooperation with another person. For those unfamiliar with the concept of a three-legged race, this doesn’t call for people with genetic mutations leading to three legs per person.

Instead, two people tie together one leg each. This tends to work best when the two people are about the same size. Aside from having legs bound together, the two people on a team usually put arms around each other’s waists for support and coordination as they run or walk – or perhaps resort to a standing crawl of sorts. Obviously, if one person trips or falls, it is impossible for the other person to continue – unless the person is strong enough to drag the fallen comrade across the finish line. Even if that were possible, it most likely would violate the rules. I've done my fair share of falling down.

We also had an egg-and-spoon race. This involved running with one hand behind the back while the other hand held a teaspoon with a raw egg inside. It’s not as easy as it sounds. Believe me!
And speaking of eggs, we also had an egg-toss. This, too, was with raw eggs. Teams lined up across from each other, several feet apart, then tossed the raw eggs to their respective partners. Those lucky enough to catch the eggs without them breaking and splattering everywhere, took a few steps back, then tossed back to their partners. With each successful toss, the team lines moved a greater distance apart from each other. This got awfully messy!

We also had a high jump, broad jump, four-person relay and even a greased pig chase, among other things. I was never very interested in chasing after a greased pig. Talk about something messy!!!!

Did you ever participate in any of these events?

I’m still waiting for the International Olympics Committee to add these REAL sports to the games. Maybe I’ll try for a medal when that happens. Don’t hold your breath, though.

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