Why Are Those People Staring at Me?

One day, I decided to dress up for work. Navy business suit with a red sleeveless sweater underneath and conservative navy pumps for a professional look.
During the day, however, I felt that people were staring. Maybe I was being paranoid; I didn't quite know. A visitor at work looked at me funny. At lunch, folks seemed to gaze at me with funny looks on their faces. I knew my old suit wasn't a perfect fit as in "tailor-made" but I didn't think it was so obviously a misfit. I kept checking; there were no rips or tears or spilled food, as far as I could tell. Throughout the day, the looks continued. Maybe it was my imagination.
After a while, though, I started to put my hand into my jacket pocket and - voila! I knew what had been wrong all day. Here's the story:
My ex-mother-in-law (the first one) told me to always wear matching underwear and nice lingerie. Well, I never could sleep in "nice" lingerie but I have tried to wear the matching stuff. This particular morning, after showering, I decided to wear bright turquoise underwear. I was running late and, after putting on the bra, couldn't find the turquoise panties. So, after searching a little, I just put on the regular whites.
As I was rushing out of the house, I spotted the turquoise panties on the floor of the laundry room. Perhaps I had dropped them when unloading the dryer. Whatever. Anyway, I picked them up and put them in my jacket pocket. That was a mistake. Apparently they didn't go all the way into the jacket pocket. Most of the day, it seems the panties hung out of my jacket pocket -- at work, at lunch, everywhere.
So, little Miss Professional, in the navy suit with navy pumps, walked around all day with lacy turquoise panties hanging out of the jacket pocket.
Upon discovery of the pocketed panties, I immediately took those things out of my pocket and stuffed 'em down into my pocketbook.
Later, at the grocery store, when I went to get my checkbook out to write a check, guess what came out of my pocketbook with my checkbook?

Copyright 2008 Sherry Martschink


Anonymous said...


The Brantley Boys said...

gross. I don't want to think of you wearing lingerie. Glad it was in your pocket...

Ashley DeMooney said...

I've heard that story before!!! That's hilarious! You sure are Miss Professional though - especially when you sing in that voice!

Leah said...

Did this happen last week Ms. Sherry???? hummm.....don't want to tell your new grandson about you in some lingerie.....

Nick Thomas said...

Another fantastic story! Very easy for me to believe. This story certainly correlates well with the name of your blog.

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